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Band 6

it is better to be unemployed rather than to be employed in jobs even if people do not feel happy. What is your opinion?

#jobs #people
There are many views on professionals’ career status, whether they are employed or unemployed. Some believe being unhappy in the office is worse than being unemployed. Unfortunately, I must disagree with
this
 viewpoint.
Firstly
, it is by nature that one of the biggest purposes of a human's life is to work and contribute to their society.
Accordingly
, people will be stressed if they were to be jobless because
during
Add the comma(s)
,during
show examples
 that stage, they will only compare to their colleagues and experience slower growth in their careers.
However
, the first week of unemployment after graduation will probably be more enjoyable compared to the next. As time goes by, it gets worse and later questions about how the jobless people spend their time during that period are going to be asked when they apply for a job.
Secondly
, people need to understand that not everyone has the privilege to live normally without a job since many circumstances need to be considered
such
 as money and future inflation. It is undeniable that the sandwich generation does not have
this
 privilege and most of them live paycheck to paycheck.
Furthermore
, it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be impossible to survive without any income if they were to live in a metropolitan city where everything is not very affordable. If in other cases the unemployed professionals have a decent saving for the future, they still need to prepare for future inflation.
To conclude
, it is acceptable to not work for a
while
, but it will be detrimental
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
longer
Correct word choice
long
show examples
 run. Following that, there are many aspects to consider
such
 as financial condition, career growth, and the environment they live in.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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  • namely
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