The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010 . Summaries the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, make comparisons where relevant .

The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010 . 

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, make comparisons where relevant .
The bar chart provides information about the
participant
Replace the word
participation
show examples
of
men
in senior
development
in IBM, Microsoft and Apple companies from 1985 to 2010.
Overall
, it can clearly be seen that the rates of
participation
of
men
in all companies rose steadily throughout the whole time
farme
Correct your spelling
frame
. The percentage
participation
of
men
in
development
in IBM
company
went up sharply during the period.
For example
, it was at around 5 % in 1985 reaching almost 25% in 1995.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one hand, if we focus on the
rate
of
men
in
development
in Microsoft
company
, we can notice that it went upward from 1980 reaching around 45% in 2010.
On the other hand
, the
rate
of
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
development
in Apple
company
was not stable .
For instance
, it declined from
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 20% in 1995 reaching around 15% in 2000.
Then
, the
rate
of
men
in
development
in Microsoft
company
shot up
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
around 40% in 2010. We can see that the
participation
of
men
in
development
in Apple
company
had the lowest
rate
at over 25%
at the end
of the period .
Whereas
, the
participation
of
men
in
development
in IBM
company
has the highest
rate
at over 50%
at the end
of the period. In conclusion , after many minor fluctuations, we can notice that the rates of
participation
of
men
in all companies kept increasing throughout the whole time
farme
Correct your spelling
frame
.
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, development, participation, company, rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage participation
  • senior development roles
  • observed trends
  • notable increases/decreases
  • significant changes
  • consistency over time
  • influencing factors
  • industry shifts
  • socio-economic factors
  • comparison of data
  • similarities and differences
  • overall trends
  • implications
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