The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010 . Summaries the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, make comparisons where relevant .

The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010 . 

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting in the main features, make comparisons where relevant .
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The bar chart provides information about the
participant
Replace the word
participation
show examples
of
men
Use synonyms
in senior
development
Use synonyms
in IBM, Microsoft and Apple companies from 1985 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that the rates of
participation
Use synonyms
of
men
Use synonyms
in all companies rose steadily throughout the whole time
farme
Correct your spelling
frame
. The percentage
participation
Use synonyms
of
men
Use synonyms
in
development
Use synonyms
in IBM
company
Use synonyms
went up sharply during the period.
For example
Linking Words
, it was at around 5 % in 1985 reaching almost 25% in 1995.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one hand, if we focus on the
rate
Use synonyms
of
men
Use synonyms
in
development
Use synonyms
in Microsoft
company
Use synonyms
, we can notice that it went upward from 1980 reaching around 45% in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
rate
Use synonyms
of
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
development
Use synonyms
in Apple
company
Use synonyms
was not stable .
For instance
Linking Words
, it declined from
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 20% in 1995 reaching around 15% in 2000.
Then
Linking Words
, the
rate
Use synonyms
of
men
Use synonyms
in
development
Use synonyms
in Microsoft
company
Use synonyms
shot up
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
around 40% in 2010. We can see that the
participation
Use synonyms
of
men
Use synonyms
in
development
Use synonyms
in Apple
company
Use synonyms
had the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
at over 25%
at the end
Linking Words
of the period .
Whereas
Linking Words
, the
participation
Use synonyms
of
men
Use synonyms
in
development
Use synonyms
in IBM
company
Use synonyms
has the highest
rate
Use synonyms
at over 50%
at the end
Linking Words
of the period. In conclusion , after many minor fluctuations, we can notice that the rates of
participation
Use synonyms
of
men
Use synonyms
in all companies kept increasing throughout the whole time
farme
Correct your spelling
frame
.
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, development, participation, company, rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage participation
  • senior development roles
  • observed trends
  • notable increases/decreases
  • significant changes
  • consistency over time
  • influencing factors
  • industry shifts
  • socio-economic factors
  • comparison of data
  • similarities and differences
  • overall trends
  • implications
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