Nowadays, marketers have left no stone unturned to entice customers. Certain fast food companies and restaurants now tie up with schools to endorse their products. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

With the rise of health awareness these days, some fast food merchants and brands have been seeking more approaches to promote their products to wider audiences,
such
as cooperating with schools, which has raised numerous disputed voices. In my view, I believe that
this
will undoubtedly affect children's future development in general, and here are some discussions for why it may leave
such
negative impacts. The cooperation between certain fast food brands and schools would damage young people's health habits and diminish school performance. Several reports have revealed that the earlier the children establish healthier eating habits, the less likely they will grow up with diet-related issues. If children have easy access to unhealthy diets and consume too much oily and salty foods, it will eventually affect their academic achievement.
For example
, statistics from CNN have shown that youngsters perform poorer at the academy when consume all those unhealthy choices, making them less focused on academics and developing more inevitable health issues.
Furthermore
, poor performance in academics can
also
lead to unsatisfied future career development. Namely, school achievement can affect their varieties and options toward course pursuit,
while
those who make healthier decisions can grow up with a greater capacity for creativity and intelligence.
For instance
, a great number of articles from Japan have disclosed that more than half of those who exhibit a more successful career in each industry developed the perspective of eating healthily since they were at school. In conclusion, the idea of the fast food industry tying up with schools or education-related places is an action that should be prevented, considering young people should not be granted easy access to unhealthy foods at
such
a young age. Not only will
this
exercise eventually affect young adults' academic performances, but
also
it will harm their future career preferences.
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coherence cohesion
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task response
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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