IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In the future more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad because on holiday agree or disagree

#future #people #holiday #country #travel
Our world is full of amazing places and almost every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 would to visit
such
 ones. On holidays the
people
 like to have an opportunity to
travel
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
countries
. But some of them like to
travel
 only in their own country to see local sceneries. In my opinion, in
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 will definitely
travel
 to other
countries
 to spend their holidays. The relevant factors will be discussed in the
eassay
Correct your spelling
essay
 below.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 most
people
 will prefer to spend their holidays traveling.
Due to
 the busy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
,
people
 get more tired in their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 life. So when they get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 most of them like to visit other
countries
 to try and see something new.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 improves their language skills,
broaden
Correct subject-verb agreement
broadens
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 horizons,
Correct word choice
and give
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
an
Correct pronoun usage
them an
show examples
 opportunity to communicate with foreigners.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
people
 learn about the
deferent
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 cultures and taste versions kind of foods.
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
show examples
 they can get brilliant experiences which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 never forget.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
people
 like to have an experience about different weather.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
Hence
, they can buy tickets cheaper in the promotion period they will like to
travel
.
For instance
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
European
people
 like to
travel
 to Asian
countries
 when they have winter and
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 same time some
people
 like to visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Europe to see
snow
Correct article usage
the snow
show examples
. In conclusion
hence
Rephrase
apply
show examples
people
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 ample money to spend, they will enjoy their life. I'm totally
disagreed
Wrong verb form
disagree
show examples
 with
this
 statement because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 always like to
traveling
Change the verb
travel
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their holiday to see new things.
Submitted by spiyumalee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
Look at other essays: