In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Young
people
in some nations
are persuade
Change the verb form
are persuaded
show examples
to have a gap year before going to
colledge
Correct your spelling
college
to explore themselves through work or travel. There are many benefits and drawbacks to
this
statement and here are my reasons behind
this
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, young
adult
Replace the word
adulthood
show examples
is considered to be one of the best
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
of our lives, since we usually have no kids, no house
mortage
Correct your spelling
mortgage
, and no one to depend on us. It's
time
to explore ourselves as much as possible so spending
time
working or travelling is a good option. If you choose to work, you will learn how to behave in the near future when entering workforce markets. If travelling is your option, you will have an eye-opening experience in many ways
such
as regional perspectives, and cultural diversity, all of these will shape your mind and
thoughs
Correct your spelling
thoughts
thought
to be more open to other
people
.
Additional
Replace the word
In addition
show examples
to
this
, young
people
should enjoy their lives
while
they have
time
to do so.
On the other hand
, Some young adults might find themselves
waste
Wrong verb form
wasting
show examples
their valuable
time
because they don't gain insights from those experiences. Some might have less money to spend on tertiary education fees because they spend on their travelling.
Furthermore
, some young
people
might have a family pressure on education so they have to quickly succeed in their degree. You might see
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
examples from many
asian
Change the capitalization
Asian
show examples
families. In a nutshell, there are both pros and cons
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
statement since it depends a lot on social beliefs, family pressure, cultural diversity, and financial status. Young
people
should take these into account before deciding.
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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

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  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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