The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of Jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in Jeans at the end of next year.

#bar #sales #jeans #two #companies #year #turkey #market

The figures illustrate the approximate number of jeans sold

Change preposition

show examples

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

companies and their estimated market share in the coming year.

Overall

it is clear that

people will buy more in December and the two firms will share half of the market with other competitors. Starting from January, the sales of jeans in Jack & Jones will be four times higher than

Mango

Change preposition

in Mango

show examples

This

trend will continue until July and August

where

Correct word choice

when

show examples

Mango

will sell more products than its competitor. In December, residents tend to buy more

clothings

Change the wording

clothing

items of clothing

articles of clothing

show examples

from Jack & Jones than its opponent, nearly one-third more.

Moreover

, the pairs of jeans sold in

Decmeber

Correct your spelling

December

are six-fold in

Mango

and two-fold in Jack when compared to January. The predicted market share of Jack & Jones will be 10% higher than

Mango

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

winter season since Jack sells more goods

overall

Submitted by Idiotbb on Fri Sep 15 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words mango with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

142 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

estimated sales
projected market share
dominant player
competition
consumer choice
pricing strategies
market trends
marketing campaigns
economic conditions
fashion trends

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, courses unrelated to the scholars' main subjects in university often divide opinions. Some students are eager to study other materials outside of their main specialities, while others believe that focusing on their actual programs is more effective. Although it might take more time, I support college students to expand their comprehension outside of their main subjects.
6.5
band
Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollutions and housing problems. To what extent do you agree to disagree with this statement?
In recent years, it is believed that reducing environmental contamination and housing issues has been considered one of the ultimate methods of diminishing the risks from ailments. From my perspective, I completely agree that it is the best solution as I discussed below.
6.5
band
ome people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Many people across the globe argue that accepting harsh realities, for example, undesirable jobs or shortage of money, is the best way to go ahead in life. Still, others claim that these conditions are part and parcel of life and can be improved. I strongly agree with the latter perspective.
7.5
band
Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extend do you agree?
There is a general consensus that companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. From my perspective, I agree with this statement.
5.5
band
News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this?
News stories on TV and in papers are usually followed by attached pictures. Some individuals believe pictures have a stronger effect than words. And I agree with this argument.

The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of Jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in Jeans at the end of next year.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollutions and housing problems. To what extent do you agree to disagree with this statement?

ome people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extend do you agree?

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this?