The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of Jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in Jeans at the end of next year.

#bar #sales #jeans #two #companies #year #turkey #market

The figures illustrate the approximate number of jeans sold

Change preposition

show examples

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

companies and their estimated market share in the coming year.

Overall

it is clear that

people will buy more in December and the two firms will share half of the market with other competitors. Starting from January, the sales of jeans in Jack & Jones will be four times higher than

Mango

Change preposition

in Mango

show examples

This

trend will continue until July and August

where

Correct word choice

when

show examples

Mango

will sell more products than its competitor. In December, residents tend to buy more

clothings

Change the wording

clothing

items of clothing

articles of clothing

show examples

from Jack & Jones than its opponent, nearly one-third more.

Moreover

, the pairs of jeans sold in

Decmeber

Correct your spelling

December

are six-fold in

Mango

and two-fold in Jack when compared to January. The predicted market share of Jack & Jones will be 10% higher than

Mango

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

winter season since Jack sells more goods

overall

Submitted by Idiotbb on Fri Sep 15 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words mango with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

142 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

estimated sales
projected market share
dominant player
competition
consumer choice
pricing strategies
market trends
marketing campaigns
economic conditions
fashion trends

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The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of Jeans for two companies next year in Turkey.The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in Jeans at the end of next year.

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having one language in the world?

The crime rare nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?