People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than that only locally made. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #variety #food #areas #regions #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

I have been living in Brisbane, Australia for approximately one year. Since I came here, my main purpose was to learn English as a second language,

then

Linking Words

I took an intensive

program

Use synonyms

course at ILSC College focused on the IELTS test in order to learn not only vocabulary but

also

Linking Words

all the required techniques to reach a high score. In July, I took my IELTS test, achieving an

Overall

Linking Words

Score of 7.5, and my current English level at the school is A2 ++ with an attendance of more than 95%. I have attached the supporting evidence of my school attendance and the IELTS certificate Nowadays, once I have already reached my language target, I have considered taking

this

Linking Words

‘Graduate Diploma’ because of its well-balanced curriculum.

This

Linking Words

program

Use synonyms

offers an integrative educational

program

Use synonyms

with core and specialization subjects, having special training in digital and health informatics

as well as

Linking Words

Health Policy and Advocacy’ which are not available in my country.

As a consequence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, I have decided to study

this

Linking Words

program

Use synonyms

to learn all the above-mentioned strategies in order to be implemented in my country. About my economic resources, since I was working as a medical practitioner in Colombia, I saved money to pay for my English

program

Use synonyms

and living arrangements.

Additionally

Linking Words

, my family has completely supported me, and my father has sponsored me. In order to support

this

Linking Words

, I attach my bank statements to prove I have received international monetary support from my father, who is called ‘Josue Balmes Agudelo Patiño’,

as well as

Linking Words

his bank certification as financial solvency support.

Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on Sun Aug 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your task response could be improved by more directly addressing the essay prompt. Ensure you answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and provide a balanced discussion of both sides.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion need to relate to the essay prompt about food variety and regional production. This essay appears to be focused on educational and financial background, which is off-topic.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas should be more clearly linked to the prompt about food availability and regional vs. local production. Include specific examples related to the topic for better support.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates good command over language, and the intentions behind your arguments are clear.

coherence cohesion

You have included details and examples which make parts of the essay engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

262 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？
Nowadays, the need for natural energy such as oil and gas is increasing over the years. There are a lot of companies that are trying to look for alternate sites to dig and exploit new resources. This condition is not good for several aspects unless the benefit of new sources is really important to us.
8.5
band
You have organized a city trip with your friend. However, you must change your plans. In your letter; Tell your friend how much you are looking forward to the trip / Give a reason for changing the plan / Suggest an alternative arrangements
I'm writing to let you know that, unfortunately, I've to postpone our city trip to Kandy next week.
5.5
band
The system used for rubbish/garbage collection in your local area is not working properly. This is causing problems for you and your neighbours. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter: describe how the rubbish collection system is not working properly( its height too much, one its side overfilled) explain how this is affecting you and your neighbours/( mosquitoes,smell, health issue suggest what should be done about the problem( arrnage new dustbin , garbage taker every week Write at least 150 words.
It is with great regret that i am writing this letter to inform you about the garbage collection system which is not working in our community. With a hevay heart, i must say that i am disappointed with this scenerio and your actions.
5.5
band
In recent years, people in many countries have been able to afford more material possessions such as electronic kitchen appliances, computers and vehicles. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this increased level of affluence, and give your opinion about whether this is a positive or negative development.
People in many countries have been able to afford more material possessions in recent years, such as electronic kitchen appliances, computers, and vehicles. Some people believe that this is an advantage because it helps people lead an easier life, whereas others believe otherwise. Even though these advancements can produce more methane and fossil fuel consumption, I believe that it is an advantage because it brings people an easier life, less amount of chores, safety, and easier communication techniques.
5
band
Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build houses in the styles of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Certain individuals believe that maintaining a similar design of all houses in a locality is a better idea than allowing any new architectural manuever. Both opinions have different reasons which will be explored further in this essay. From my perspective, people should be allowed to make houses in any manner they desire.

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than that only locally made. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？

You have organized a city trip with your friend. However, you must change your plans. In your letter; Tell your friend how much you are looking forward to the trip / Give a reason for changing the plan / Suggest an alternative arrangements