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Band 2.5

These day it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #travel #countries #tourism #development
Nowadays
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 to different countries
isnt
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isn't
 a different process. It is not needed a large
prepaparation
Correct your spelling
preparation
 as it was in the past. There are some advantages and disadvantages of it. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I'll consider both of them On the one hand, as
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 to
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
 isn't a difficult process any more there are some disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it. Anyone can travel to
whereever
Correct your spelling
wherever
where ever
 they want to, it's not always good.
For example
, a person who
comited
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committed
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
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 can easily to another continent without any
consequencies
Correct your spelling
consequences
. As an example,
a
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an
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 individual named Jack Wilson killed his wife and moved from Canada to France in 2012, and still nobody knows where he is hiding.
On the other hand
 , there are way more advantages of easily travelling. As tourism isn't that hard
anymore
Replace the word
any more
show examples
 people
doesn't
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don't
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 need to prepare their documents months before the trip.
For instance
 in the
Sovet
Correct your spelling
Soviet
 Union, if you wanted to visit another country you had to
gave
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give
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 an exam
to
Change preposition
at
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 the airport commission and prepare all documents you have ever had in your life. It's great that people
doesnt
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don't
 have to do all
assighment
Correct your spelling
assignment
assignments
 to travel to another country. In conclusion, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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 the advantages of easing the
traleing
Correct your spelling
trading
training
trailing
 process are really
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it.
Submitted by tukezaliyeva96 on

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Task Response
Your essay shows some relevant ideas but lacks structure and coherence. Make sure to have a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Focus on developing your ideas with proper examples and supporting details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that you introduce your topic and provide a conclusion that summarizes your main points. Also, work on linking your ideas together coherently throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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