IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not.What are your opinions on this?

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International
tourism
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 is becoming more popular day by day. The reason being growth in the employment sector, economic prosperity and increased chance of getting to know each other's tradition and all.
However
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, some changes might affect the well-being of the environment. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss on both sides.
Firstly
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, It can bring an ample amount of job opportunities.
For instance
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, A study conducted by the National
Tourism
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 of India proved that International
Tourism
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 has contributed to a 40% surge in job openings. It is
subsequently
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 reflected in the economic growth of the country.
Besides
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, it
also
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 allows people from different countries to experience and learn about the traditions followed by a wide range of communities. The exchange of culture helps people to understand and respect individualism.
On the other hand
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, International
tourism
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 is interdependent on seasons. One can't solely rely upon
tourism
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 for everything as it highly fluctuates during off-peak seasons.
Nevertheless
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, it can improve the facilities and infrastructure of the country. An article published by the University of Illinois found that there is a 20% increase in environmental destruction caused by International
tourism
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due to
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 a lack of maintenance and
also
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 debris deposited by tourists people from different parts of the world.
Nonetheless
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, sustainable
tourism
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 improves the wealth and development of the nation.
To sum up
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, In my opinion, International
Tourism
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 nourishes the country in many aspects including employment, income, education, travel and services. But it has to be maintained properly or it will cause environmental degradation
such
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 as pollution, waste, habitual destruction etc.

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task response
Your introduction provides a clear overview of the essay's purpose, but it could be slightly more specific about the main points discussed later. Consider refining it to give a clearer roadmap of what the essay will cover.
task response
Your main points are generally well-supported, but there are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect clarity. For instance, the phrase 'tradition and all' is too informal for an academic essay. Consider revising these to maintain a formal tone.
task response
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and clearly explained. Some points, like the environmental impact of tourism, could be elaborated further to provide a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the issue. However, the transitions between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall flow. Words like 'Besides' and 'Nonetheless' are used effectively, but try to vary your transitions to avoid redundancy.
coherence cohesion
Try to link your introduction and conclusion more explicitly. Your conclusion summarizes the main points well, but referring back to the introduction can create a more unified essay.
coherence cohesion
Including more specific examples and data can significantly strengthen your arguments. The example about the National Tourism of India is good; consider adding similar supporting details for other points.
task response
You addressed both sides of the issue, providing a balanced view which fulfills the task requirements well. Your examples, particularly the study by the National Tourism of India, add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively. This demonstrates good organizational skills.
coherence cohesion
Your use of transitional words like 'Firstly,' 'On the other hand,' and 'To sum up,' helps to structure the essay clearly. This enhances readability and helps the reader follow your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • cultural exchange
  • economic impact
  • hospitality sector
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental degradation
  • local economy
  • global understanding
  • seasonal fluctuations
  • tourist influx
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