IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below compare water usagein san diago california and rest of the world

The pie charts below compare water usagein san diago california and rest of the world
The three pie charts depict the
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 in
San
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Diego
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,
California
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 and the rest of the
world
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.It is
eviden
Correct your spelling
evident
evidence
 that there are three
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
usages
Fix the agreement mistake
usage
show examples
where
Rephrase
apply
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as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, residential, industry and agriculture. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the residential term was the most
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 in
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
 and
California
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Use synonyms
world
Correct your spelling
worldwide
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wide
Add the comma(s)
,wide
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 has
showd
Correct your spelling
shown
showed
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
. Looking at the details, we can see that
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 by
residential
Replace the word
residents
show examples
 in
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
 and
California
Use synonyms
 was 60% and 39% respectively,when compared worldwide it drastically decreased by about 8%.Looking at
water
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usage
Use synonyms
 in
San
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Diego
Use synonyms
 and the rest of the
world
Use synonyms
 the industry remains unchanged in percentage by about 23%,
whereas
Linking Words
California
Use synonyms
display
Change the verb form
displays
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 a 10%
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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 of about 33%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,the
San
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Diego
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 and
California
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 agriculture showed 17% and 28%,
however
Linking Words
 when looking
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the rest of the
world
Use synonyms
 it dramatically rose about nearly three
quarter
Fix the agreement mistake
quarters
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 about 69%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, usage, san, diego, california, world with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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