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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#university #graduates #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph depicts the information about the
number
 of men and women studied in the
canadian
Change the capitalization
Canadian
show examples
 universities during the
year
 from 1992 to 2006 .
Overall
,
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number
 of females joined
graduation
courses
comparied
Correct your spelling
compared
 to male
canidates
Correct your spelling
candidates
. Looking at the graph in detail, during the
year
 1992,almost 70000males joined
graduation
courses
 but
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 same
year
near to
Correct your spelling
nearly
show examples
100000
Correct your spelling
100,000
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 joined
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same course.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 after two
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 the
number
 of graduates
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dsropped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 down to the students
joined
Correct pronoun usage
who joined
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
intial
Correct your spelling
initial
year
.
Besides
 in the
year
1998
Add a comma
,1998
show examples
 the
number
 of graduates
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both gender
are constantly joined
Change the verb form
have constantly joined
show examples
 the
courses
 and that
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 72000and 102000 respectively
Furthermore
,a decade ago, the
number
 of female graduates
slightly
Add a missing verb
was slightly
show examples
 upward to 110000.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the same
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
 male
canidates
Correct your spelling
candidates
also
 increased to 80000.During the
year
2004
Add a comma
,2004
show examples
almost10000
Correct your spelling
almost
male
Correct determiner usage
all male
show examples
 students
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 admissions in
graduation
courses
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the final
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
 the
number
 of female
canidates
Correct your spelling
candidates
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 the
peakpoint
Correct your spelling
peak point
breakpoint
 in the
graduation
courses
 and that
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 150000.
Submitted by jibinjoshi763 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, year, graduation, courses with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • general trend
  • fluctuations
  • peaks
  • dips
  • significant differences
  • increase/decrease
  • comparison
  • data
  • period
  • economic conditions
  • policy changes
  • cultural shifts
  • implications
  • workforce
  • economy
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