IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that many businesses in the food and beverages industry use a lot of sugars in their
products
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 which results in various health risks.
Due to
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this
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 belief, many
people
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 argue that the
price
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 of sugary
products
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 should be increased to discourage
people
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 from consuming
sugar
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.
While
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 there are some benefits to
this
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 idea, I maintain the opinion that there should not be any adjustment to the
price
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. On the one hand, the argument that sugary
products
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 should cost more than usual is beneficial to some extent.
This
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 action would immediately influence the mindset of consumers, especially those who are on a tight budget. Eventually, at a certain level,
people
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 would consume less of
this
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 substance.
However
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,
this
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 practice would probably not be effective for those who are addicted to it, even if they are financially poor.
On the other hand
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, there are two primary reasons why I
also
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 believe that the
price
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 of sugary
products
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 should not be adjusted to be more expensive.
Firstly
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,
sugar
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 is a necessary substance for the human body. If the
price
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 of sweet-tasting food and beverages increases, the
people
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 who cannot afford to buy costly
products
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 will ultimately stop consuming
sugar
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.
Consequently
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,
due to
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 the lack of
this
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 substance, they would likely have certain health problems.
Secondly
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, most foods and drinks these days contain
sugar
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, and if the
price
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 of these
products
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 is made more expensive,
people
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 will need to spend more money to purchase and ,
eventually
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,eventually
show examples
this
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 action will cause inflation in the domestic economy. In conclusion,
although
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 increasing the
price
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 of sugary
products
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 presents certain advantages, I contend that it should not be encouraged to perform that action. It is advisable that businesses should acknowledge the health of the consumers by starting to reduce the amount of
sugar
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 in their
products
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.

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