IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Before a lot of advantages, some people believe that the internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?

#people #internet #whit
In today's
time
, the net has become
the
Correct article usage
a
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 major necessity in everyone's life.
In addition
 to
this
, when
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 came into the market, it was very difficult for humans to trust because it created a
lot
 of problems at that
time
 but eventually
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Technology
as
Correct your spelling
has
show examples
 evolved over the period of
time
 and I strongly believe that there were a
lot
 of problems
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the
Internet
 evolution. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad things to be shared.
Firstly
, at the beginning
network
Change preposition
of network
show examples
 consumption 
people
 did not know how to
use
this
 because there was no knowledge or manual which
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 help to
use
 the
internet
.
For example
, a survey
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the Times of India says that only 2% of
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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 population knew about the network.
Moreover
, there was
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 of fraud and scams which
cost
Verb problem
caused
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 the
people
 to go under the poverty line.
As a result
, there was
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of hatred towards the consumption of information
server
Fix the agreement mistake
servers
show examples
. On the other side,
people
 created a
lot
 of
rumour
Fix the agreement mistake
rumours
show examples
 that the usage of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is not safe and the government is monitoring your data.
Thus
, a very small amount of
people
 utilised the data.
Furthermore
, the price of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
surfing online was very much high at the beginning of
this
 revolution .
For instance
, cyber
Cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 came to India in 2010 charging rupees 50 per hour which was very high at that
time
. In
consequences
Fix the agreement mistake
consequence
show examples
, Only
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 percentage of
people
 had the facility of the web.
To conclude
,
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 was very
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
hard to
use
 at that
time
 and as far as I am concerned there were
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 of
Disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
Disadvantages
show examples
 which led to
people
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
internet
superhighway
Fix the agreement mistake
superhighways
show examples
.
Submitted by ayush.s2352 on

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