A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, •explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday •describe some possible disadvantages •say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer Write at least 150 words

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #advice #•explain #•describe #•say

Dear Annie, Hope you’re doing well. I’m writing

this

to give you advice about the camping holiday that you’re planning for

this

summer. Since you’re going there for the first time and you like thrillers a lot, I reckon you will definitely love camping in the hilly area. And, the best part of camping is feeling the silence of nature during the night, which I

also

admire a lot. It might become an uphill task for you at night because you may get scared by the animal and insect sounds. So try to not take a deep sleep in camp to keep yourself and others safe. Plus,you asked me to join you but I’ve some office stuff going on,

due to

which I’ll unable to make it. I think you should go on

this

trip and I'm sure, we’ll make another plan very soon for river-side camping. Hope you’ll enjoy

this

experience. Best Regards, Jaskaran

Submitted by KaranAwal15 on Fri Sep 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

Work on using appropriate greetings and closings for a formal letter. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea for better coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Work on providing a more complete response to all aspects of the task. Use a more suitable writing tone for a formal letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

155 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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