IELTS 8 - Exam 1 - Writing Task 2 Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that schools is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the modern era,being an ideal
member
of
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
is
extermely
Correct your spelling
extremely
important. It is a common topic of debate among people that
schools
should teach children to be a fine
member
of the community
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, others believe that it is their parent's job.
This
essay will discuss both of these views before my opinion.
To begin
with, homes are the first
schools
where
parents
teach their offspring about the way to behave
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
of
other
Change the wording
another member
other members
show examples
member
of society.
For instance
, we all have experienced that when our
parents
took us along to a family function or a
partys
Correct your spelling
party
, they used to teach us beforehand not to act foolish in front of others.
therefore
,
this constant corrections
Change the determiner
this constant correction
these constant corrections
show examples
in behaviour become permanent which
latter
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later
show examples
becomes our personality. The main goal of
are
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
parents
is to show the world our better version so that their child could become a good
member
among others.
On the other hand
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
schools
a school
show examples
schools
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
place where
childern
Correct your spelling
children
from different backgrounds come together to learn, which means now they have contact with each other as they have different behaviour but still manage to work in teams to achieve a
commmon
Correct your spelling
common
goal.
For example
, in
schools
teachers make groups of students
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
perform
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
complex task of arranging a play or a game which requires a joint effort from team members,
this
common effort reflects the capability of children to become an ideal part of society. In my opinion, a school and
parents
both are equally important
to educate
Change preposition
in educating
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
individual
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individuals
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about their role in society and how they can create a better and
safe
Correct word choice
safer
show examples
environment to live
when
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in when
show examples
they grow up.
To conclude
, it can be said that
parents
teaches
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teach
show examples
their child how to behave till a certain age. After that, it is
duty
Add an article
the duty
show examples
of
schools
to guide young people to the path of becoming a better component of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
Submitted by singhjagdeep94 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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