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Writing Samples
Band 7

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world, there are constant traffic jams. How true you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discour

It is often claimed that the increasing number of cars is the primary cause of constant
traffic
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 jams in many major cities worldwide.
However
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, I believe that
this
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 assumption is not entirely accurate. The real reason behind severe
traffic
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congestion
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 is the high concentration of economic activities and job opportunities in a single urban
center
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centre
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, rather than merely the rise in
car
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ownership
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. In my opinion, imposing taxes on vehicle
ownership
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 can be an effective measure to reduce the number of private cars on the road.
Firstly
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, it is important to recognize that several cities experience heavy
traffic
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 despite no significant increase in the number of
car
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 owners.
For instance
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, research indicates that over the past 30 years, approximately 70% of megacities worldwide have suffered from
traffic
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congestion
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due to
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 economic activities being clustered in one central area.
This
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 centralization leads to an overwhelming influx of commuters daily, which is a more significant contributor to
congestion
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 than
car
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ownership
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 growth alone.
Secondly
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, governments can encourage a reduction in private
car
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ownership
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 by introducing higher taxes or fees on vehicles. Many people tend to avoid owning cars if the financial burden becomes too high.
For example
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, a Japanese city implemented increased charges on private vehicles as part of its environmental protection policy, resulting in a one-third decrease in new
car
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 registrations over three years.
This
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 demonstrates that economic disincentives can effectively reduce
car
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 numbers. In conclusion,
traffic
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congestion
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 is mainly caused by the concentration of economic hubs rather than just increased
car
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ownership
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.
Nonetheless
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, by imposing vehicle taxes, governments can successfully discourage excessive
car
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ownership
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 and help alleviate urban
traffic
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 problems.

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Task Achievement
Make sure every point clearly relates to the question asked. While your ideas are strong, linking them more directly to the topic can improve your score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. This can help guide the reader through your writing more smoothly.
Task Achievement
You clearly understand the topic and provide strong arguments to support your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow and is easy to follow from the introduction to the conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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