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Writing Samples
Band 5

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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A debate over whether the change in family structure and family roles has a positive impact or a negative impact has long been a subject of discussion. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the
changes
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occurred
Correct pronoun usage
that occurred
show examples
 in family structures gave them freedom and privacy but
on the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that these
changes
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 left an individual alone.
To begin
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 with, family structure plays a vital role in the grooming of kids
as well as
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 the young generation. At
first,
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people
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 used to live in a joint family where all the brothers and sisters used to live in the same house with their parents. Parents were the head of the family and had the authority to keep a check on everyone. Every decision is taken by the head of the family after discussing it with everyone and whenever an individual
get
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gets
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 stuck in a problem, all the other members of the family try to help him/her.
For instance
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, if an individual gets some mental illness like depression or anxiety, other members would help that person by giving a friendly company and other kind of help if needed.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 are now preferring neutral
families
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 in which they only live with their life partner. In neutral
families
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, there is no head of the family.
Therefore
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, there is no one to keep
check
Change preposition
in check
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. The kids in neutral
families
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 do not realize the value of the joint
families
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.
Therefore
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, they lack certain kinds of grooming.
For example
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, today's kids
did
Wrong verb form
do
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 not enjoy the company of grandparents and they lack their love and affection. In short,
changes
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 in family structures affect
people
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 in a negative way. These
changes
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 will completely isolate individuals in their own life and the new generation will lack the emotional connections of family.
Although
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 there are certain
people
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 who are happy in neutral
families
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 and do not want to live in a joint family.

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth in the discussion of the positive and negative impacts of the changes in family structure and roles. More detailed analysis and examples are needed to fully address the question.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure and introduction/conclusion are present, but the essay lacks clear development in supporting the main points. The coherence could be improved through better organization of ideas and clearer transitions between paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Family structure
  • Modern family
  • Extended family
  • Nuclear family
  • Same-sex parent families
  • Breadwinner
  • Caregiving responsibilities
  • Family dynamics
  • Globalization
  • Economic shifts
  • Migration
  • Child-free lifestyles
  • Cohabitation
  • Traditional marriage
  • Perceptions
  • Homemaker
  • Communication
  • Shared activities
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