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Some people believe that education success mostly depends on teachers. Others however say that it depends more on the attitude of student and their willingness to study. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #success #teachers #attitude #student #willingness #study
Children
 in many nations around the world are educated that they can achieve any goals in life after sufficient effort. Embedding
this
message
 in youngsters’ minds can exert both positive and negative influences on their development. On the one hand, when
children
 are taught that every success can come after hard work, they will be inspired to try their best in all circumstances.
This
 lesson becomes more persuasive if
being
Wrong verb form
it is
show examples
 exemplified by some globally renowned figures, one of which is that the fame and fortune of Messi – a football player – is attributed to his hard practice
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
his
Change the word
an
show examples
 early age.
As a result
,
children
 who are given
this
message
 will be more studious to gain better academic performance at schools, and in the future, they will attempt to work harder to have
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 raise or promotion
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or to overcome different obstacles in life.
On the other hand
, imparting
this
message
 to the young entails several downsides.
Firstly
, it can create a generation of
too studious
Add a hyphen
too-studious
show examples
 students and too many workaholics, for they are educated that working hard is the main path to success.
Secondly
, giving
children
this
message
 can be counterproductive if the young overlook and fail to enhance other vital
characters
Replace the word
characteristics
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such
 as
creativeness
Replace the word
creativity
show examples
. Their failure can come from other culprits rather than the lack of industriousness.
For instance
, a student can fail an exam, not because of insufficient diligence but ineffective learning methods. A hard-working businessman can only make a trivial profit because of his
out-dated
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
 marketing strategies. But
this
 lesson halts them from realising their true weaknesses. In conclusion, guiding
children
 to be hard-working is important to achieve their goals, but I opine that
this
 lesson might come
together with
 some detrimental impacts on their mindsets.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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