Young people are now spending more and more time and money following fashion trends. What is your opinion? Is this a postive or negative development?

It is said that children spend a number of time and money in order to purchase
fashion
Replace the word
fashionable
show examples
stuff nowadays. In my opinion, I guess that
this
topic has probably a positive influence on them. I am going to discuss deeply
this
issue in my essay below. In terms of benefit viewpoint, in
almost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
countries and around the globe, a trend is created by young people, especially teenagers. These fashionable things affect adults,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
are widespread in the world.
In addition
, they have lots of ideas, which nobody cannot find out without young age people. These
imprtant
Correct your spelling
important
skills important skill will support our society and government or something like that. Regarding
not-wirthwhile
Correct your spelling
not-worthwhile
stuff, there is a positive aspect,
while
the circumstance which
buy
Change the verb form
buys
show examples
kinds of popular things to spend the figure of money or time is being dangerous if they too doing.
For example
, if they have no money to collect something, their parents are helped by them. It is not better for them and their guardians in these situations,
Submitted by kanami552662 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: