Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？
In recent times crimes have increased. It is a highly debatable issue whether
people
are allowed to buy guns
, or whether it has a negative impact on society
. This
essay will outline the risks of this
phenomenon and provide my opinion.I don't agree that guns
are necessary for everyone.
There are a lot of bad effects of having guns
. If people
are allowed to buy guns
, they will make society
more dangerous. It means the number of crimes would probably increase due to
the misuse of the gun
. So, not everyone has the ability to control and deal with it in a safe way. Moreover
, the policies have only allowed to hold guns
. Engaging in practice using guns
, will make people
more talented in using them. For example
, the result of conducted research at Glasgow University showed that the rate of people
who have experience in using guns
is more than the number of people
who use them without experience. Therefore
, instead
of buying guns
, Policies are responsible for this
action.
Another important risk is the lack of awareness in the society
. The individual may forget to save the gun
in a safe place, Then
children can play with it and cause some problems. For instance
, my friend Fatma put her gun
on the sofa and her child played with it and then
he injured himself. Thus
, the gun
can boost the sense of anxiety in society
.
In conclusion,guns
are not important for everyone. Increasing the number of crimes, lack of awareness and lack of experience in using guns
could be dangerous for people
. Therefore
, people
must be aware of society
's risks and avoid using it in the wrong way.Submitted by 13570581 on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate on your points further. For example, provide more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument. This will help in achieving a more complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-linked and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. The current essay has a decent structure but could benefit from transitional phrases to improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively outline the main points.
task achievement
The ideas presented are fairly clear and easy to understand, which helps in conveying your opinion convincingly.