Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

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In recent times crimes have increased. It is a highly debatable issue whether

people

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are allowed to buy

guns

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, or whether it has a negative impact on

society

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This

Linking Words

essay will outline the risks of

this

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phenomenon and provide my opinion.I don't agree that

guns

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are necessary for everyone. There are a lot of bad effects of having

guns

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. If

people

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are allowed to buy

guns

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, they will make

society

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more dangerous. It means the number of crimes would probably increase

due to

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the misuse of the

gun

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. So, not everyone has the ability to control and deal with it in a safe way.

Moreover

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, the policies have only allowed to hold

guns

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. Engaging in practice using

guns

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, will make

people

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more talented in using them.

For example

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, the result of conducted research at Glasgow University showed that the rate of

people

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who have experience in using

guns

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is more than the number of

people

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who use them without experience.

Therefore

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instead

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of buying

guns

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, Policies are responsible for

this

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action. Another important risk is the lack of awareness in the

society

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. The individual may forget to save the

gun

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in a safe place,

Then

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children can play with it and cause some problems.

For instance

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, my friend Fatma put her

gun

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on the sofa and her child played with it and

then

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he injured himself.

Thus

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, the

gun

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can boost the sense of anxiety in

society

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. In conclusion,

guns

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are not important for everyone. Increasing the number of crimes, lack of awareness and lack of experience in using

guns

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could be dangerous for

people

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Therefore

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people

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must be aware of

society

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's risks and avoid using it in the wrong way.

13570581Wed Sep 11 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate on your points further. For example, provide more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument. This will help in achieving a more complete response to the task.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphs are well-linked and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. The current essay has a decent structure but could benefit from transitional phrases to improve cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively outline the main points.

task achievement

The ideas presented are fairly clear and easy to understand, which helps in conveying your opinion convincingly.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

advocate
debate
controversial
firearm
self-defense
crime prevention
deterrence
gun violence
gun control laws
public safety
accidental discharge
suicide prevention
impulsive
accessibility
legislation
firearm regulation
balancing
individual rights
crime rate
violence
arguments
opponents
supporters
proponents
second amendment

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Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers.Do you think money is the driving force behind hard work? What factors should be taken into consideration when recruiting staff for sales positions

TOO MUCH EMPHASIS IS GIVEN FOR EDUCATION OF THE YOUNG . MORE GOVERNMENT MONEY SHOULD BE SPENT TO FREE TIME ACTIVITY OF YOUNG PEOPLE

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local custom and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree ?