The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018.
The given tables provide information on temperatures and daylight
hours
in
London
and
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
weekend starting from 28th to 30th December 2018. It is evidence that
London
was colder than
Sydney
.
However
, daylight
hours
in
Sydney
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
longer than
London
Change preposition
in London
show examples
. On
friday
Change the capitalization
Friday
show examples
during
observed
Add an article
the observed
an observed
show examples
time,
London
had low
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
, ranging between 4 to 9
Celcius
. In stark contrast,
Sydney
was hot which had
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
temperature
26
Change preposition
of 26
show examples
Celcius
while
the minimum was 17
Celcius
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the following days,
London
experienced
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly
Change the word
slight
show examples
increase before
declined
Wrong verb form
declining
show examples
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
10
Celcius
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the end of the period.
Nevertherles
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, a noticeable increase was witnessed in
Sydney
during the next 2 days, reaching its nadir at 31
Celcius
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
Sunday.
In addition
,
while
daylight
hours
in
London
was approximately 8
hours
,
Sydney
was nearly doubled which had slightly up to 14
hours
.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, Sun was rose faster in
Sydney
which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
already shined
brighlyt
Correct your spelling
bright
brightly
at 5:45
while
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
London
was at 08:05.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, london, sydney, celcius with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: