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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018.
#tables #information #temperatures #hours #daylight #london #sydney #weekend #december
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The given tables provide information on temperatures and daylight
hours
Use synonyms
 in
London
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 and
Use synonyms
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
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in
Change preposition
at
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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 weekend starting from 28th to 30th December 2018. It is evidence that
London
Use synonyms
 was colder than
Sydney
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.
However
Linking Words
, daylight
hours
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 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 longer than
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London
Change preposition
in London
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. On
friday
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Friday
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 during
observed
Add an article
the observed
an observed
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 time,
London
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 had low
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
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, ranging between 4 to 9
Celcius
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. In stark contrast,
Sydney
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 was hot which had
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
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 temperature
26
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of 26
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Celcius
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while
Linking Words
 the minimum was 17
Celcius
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.
On
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In
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 the following days,
London
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 experienced
Correct article usage
a slightly
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slightly
Change the word
slight
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 increase before
declined
Wrong verb form
declining
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at
Change preposition
to
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 10
Celcius
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in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the period.
Nevertherles
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Nevertheless
, a noticeable increase was witnessed in
Sydney
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 during the next 2 days, reaching its nadir at 31
Celcius
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in
Change the preposition
on
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 Sunday.
In addition
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 daylight
hours
Use synonyms
 in
London
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 was approximately 8
hours
Use synonyms
,
Sydney
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 was nearly doubled which had slightly up to 14
hours
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.
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Furthermore
Furthemore
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Furthermore
, Sun was rose faster in
Sydney
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 which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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already shined
brighlyt
Correct your spelling
bright
brightly
 at 5:45
while
Linking Words
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
London
Use synonyms
 was at 08:05.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, london, sydney, celcius with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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