Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

We are living in a divided world today with constant conflicts between different opinions and cultures. Some believe that

music

can help unite people around the world. I partially agree with

this

view

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and will give my reasons below. On one hand,

music

the

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common

language

across various demographics.

Firstly

, we all love catchy melodies

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and enjoying the same song together can reduce our differences and enhance mutual understanding.

Secondly

, it can become a medium to spread messages.

For instance

, the world-famous We Are The World and the Live Aid concert by Michael Jackson, and the virtual performance organized by Lady Gaga during COVID are both proofs that it can convey hope and address practical issues.

Lastly

, we can easily stream

music

composed in another country today, which enables us to appreciate the variety of civilizations.

On the other hand

, the songs have their limitations. First of all, there is an obvious generational gap regarding the

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genre. Youngsters tend to love hip-hop and R&B,

while

senior people prefer jazz and rock.

Also

, we must not underestimate the effects of the

language

barrier. To give an example, in most charts, foreign

language

albums rarely make it to the top.

Furthermore

, we should not exaggerate its influence.

While

an upbeat jingle might lift up our mood, it does not address the root cause of the confrontations. We cannot let our wishful thinking hinder us from combating real matters. In conclusion, I agree that

music

is one of the few things which can increase solidarity among individuals with diverse backgrounds, and it is a universal

language

for everyone.

However

, we should

also

be aware that

this

form of art is not capable of resolving conflicts radically, and we must work hard to fix our differences ourselves at the same time.

Submitted by bianzhengyang on Sun Sep 17 2023

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

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