Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Introduction

Nowadays, it has been believed by several people that music makes various generations, traditions and cultures get near together. In

this

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essay, I will discuss some proofs which strengthen

this

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kind of outlook and explain why I agree with them.

Body · 1

There is no doubt that the growth of public communication,

as well as

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the net rise of annual music festivals which are held in various parts of the world, is a key to assist in getting cultures in touch. It might as well, cause us to get to know better either their similarities or dissimilarities.

For instance

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, with the incredible increase in social media, Korean Pop Culture idols and TV shows have become exclusive destinations for a wave of song lovers from all over the world to relate to their favourite bands in terms of their personality and humour. In short, a specific method of expressing emotions and interests plays a vital role in bringing ages together.

Body · 2

Furthermore

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, I firmly believe that COVID-19 leads to the huge rise of online consultations and makes it easy to get the latest news about all types of art.

For example

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, attending foreign classes refers to certain grounds, that not only improve your ability but

also

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cause enormous community between multiple folks.

Consequently

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, online activities

such

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as festivals and concerts become a profitable attitude to prompt International relations.

Conclusion

In conclusion, it is

due to

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modern-day artistic targets like talent contests that a great number of folks come into contact with.

In other words

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, the power of tunes leads to attracting diverse beliefs to one ground understanding : harmony.

twiggseducationbdg

Sep 18, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a specific point or idea related to the topic. Consider using topic sentences to clearly introduce the main point of each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Provide a more comprehensive introduction and conclusion that summarize your main ideas and provide a clear stance on the topic.

lexical resource

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition of certain words and phrases.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar, particularly sentence complexity and accuracy.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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