IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Minority languages Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#minority #languages #danger #extinction #numbers #people #governments #money #waste
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Multiple
languages
 are facing extinction because extremely small numbers of people communicate with them. Some people argue the government should use taxes to prevent them from disappearing. From my perspective, I disagree with it because it wastes public resources and the extinction of certain
languages
 is inevitable.
To begin
 with, there are some benefits to keeping
languages
 that are in danger.
Firstly
, I believe the vocabulary contains and inheres the culture of the group who speak the language.
For example
, the origin of the Chinese alphabet was developed from shapes of the stuff that the word intends to describe that are still common among Chinese. The alphabet is highly valuable for researching and exploring the costume of an ethnicity.
Moreover
, rare
languages
 might
also
 have a higher chance to explain the mystery. Rare
languages
 are normally long-lasting and used by remote inhabitants without significant evolution. By utilizing old
languages
, it might be possible to decode mysteries.
On the other hand
, despite the benefits of
languages
 that are facing vanishing, it is worthless to spend common money to save them. First of all, the tendency of their extinction is inevitable and it is effortless to save them. The main reasons for losing a language might be rare users, remote locations and complexity. I believe a language would popularize if it is greatly capable.
In contrast
, these
languages
 are normally hard to learn because of a lack of development.
Furthermore
, investing public resources to grow civilization, like education, health care and working opportunities is more considerable than saving
languages
.
Overall
,
although
 helping
languages
 from vanishing is essential, I diverge from investing in citizens' sources to support it on account of wasting money.
Submitted by xiaol8616 on

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Task Response
The essay provides a somewhat clear response to the task, but it could benefit from a more balanced discussion of both views presented in the prompt. Include relevant examples to support each viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates some logical progression of ideas, but the introduction and conclusion could be more explicitly stated to provide a clearer structure. Consider using linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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