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Band 7

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. »

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The line graph provides information regarding how many people use two music websites for a specific
number
Use synonyms
 of
days
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of visitors to both websites showed a wide variety of changes over the considered time period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the Music Choice website, the initial
day
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 figure was about 120
thousand
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. The
number
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 stayed constant for 3
days
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.
However
Linking Words
, people who visited
this
Linking Words
 website reduced to a greater extent to reach around 30
thousand
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 in 7
days
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. Moving
further
Linking Words
, after 9
days
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, there was a steep increase in the
number
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 of visitors to the channel. For the next few
days
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, the graph showed a subsequent increment and decrement and
finally
Linking Words
, on the 15th
day
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,
count
Add an article
the count
show examples
 was 170
thousand
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, which constitutes the maximum
number
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 of visitors in the entire time period considered. It is evident that, in the Pop Parade site, only 40
thousand
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 visited on
day
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 1. From
then
Linking Words
, the value of the
number
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 of humans using the website increased and decreased
subsequently
Linking Words
 till 11
days
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.
Although
Linking Words
 the figure always stayed below the other channel’s
number
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, it exceeded on two
days
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
day
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 in the considered period was
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
approximately 70
thousand
Use synonyms
 people.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, days, day, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Music sites
  • Web traffic
  • Number of visits
  • Trend analysis
  • Initial phase
  • Steady increase
  • Fluctuations
  • Significant change
  • Peaks
  • Turning point
  • Growth rate
  • Seasonal variation
  • Comparative analysis
  • Long-term trend
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