The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. » You should write at least 150 words.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

» You should write at least 150 words.
The line graph provides information regarding how many people use two music websites for a specific
number
of
days
.
Overall
, the
number
of visitors to both websites showed a wide variety of changes over the considered time period.
To begin
with,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the Music Choice website, the initial
day
figure was about 120
thousand
. The
number
stayed constant for 3
days
.
However
, people who visited
this
website reduced to a greater extent to reach around 30
thousand
in 7
days
. Moving
further
, after 9
days
, there was a steep increase in the
number
of visitors to the channel. For the next few
days
, the graph showed a subsequent increment and decrement and
finally
, on the 15th
day
,
count
Add an article
the count
show examples
was 170
thousand
, which constitutes the maximum
number
of visitors in the entire time period considered. It is evident that, in the Pop Parade site, only 40
thousand
visited on
day
1. From
then
, the value of the
number
of humans using the website increased and decreased
subsequently
till 11
days
.
Although
the figure always stayed below the other channel’s
number
, it exceeded on two
days
.
Finally
, the
last
day
in the considered period was
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
approximately 70
thousand
people.
Submitted by kavitha7797 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, days, day, thousand with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Music sites
  • Web traffic
  • Number of visits
  • Trend analysis
  • Initial phase
  • Steady increase
  • Fluctuations
  • Significant change
  • Peaks
  • Turning point
  • Growth rate
  • Seasonal variation
  • Comparative analysis
  • Long-term trend
What to do next:
Look at other essays: