The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.
The bar chart shows the rate of
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individuals
indivuals
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individuals
born in
Australia
and outside
Australia
residing in urban, rural and town during the years 1995 and 2010
Overall
, the percentage of
people
reside
Wrong verb form
residing
show examples
in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rises
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
dramatically.
On the other hand
, more and more
people
chooses
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choose
show examples
to reside outside rural
areas
. In
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
1995, the percentage of
people
who born in
Australia
and living in cities was about 50% which was rose in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2010 to almost 65%,
while
the
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
residing in
towns
are dropped from 20% to approximately 18% in the
year
2010.
Likewise
Add a comma
,Likewise
show examples
we can see the drop in the percentage of
people
living in rural
areas
also
in the
year
1995 almost 50% of the
people
who born in
Australia
and
resides
Wrong verb form
resided
show examples
in
rurals
Correct your spelling
rural
areas
which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
dropped in the
year
2010 to
near by
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nearby
show examples
18%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The data for
non Australian
Add a hyphen
non-Australian
show examples
shows that
people
prefers
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prefer
show examples
to live in
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
show examples
instead
of living in
towns
and rural area as in the
year
1995 nearly 60% of the population resides in Cities,
whereas
15%
in
Add a missing verb
were in
show examples
towns
and 40% in rural
areas
. For the period of
2010
Add a comma
,2010
show examples
the number has been inclined to 80% for cities,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
these numbers
remains
Change the verb form
remain
show examples
almost
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same for
people
in
towns
However
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
dropped for
people
living in rural
areas
as it comes to under 20%
Submitted by preet0408man on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, people, areas, year, towns with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographics
  • urbanization
  • migration patterns
  • population distribution
  • percentage points
  • growth rate
  • decline
  • trend analysis
  • socioeconomic factors
  • infrastructure development
  • rural exodus
  • census data
  • lifestyle changes
  • residential patterns
  • immigration policies
  • emigration
  • natural increase
  • birth rate
  • settlement patterns
  • push and pull factors
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