IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children’s study. On the contrary those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development . What is your opinion

#parents #computer #games #value #children’s #study #effects #development
Computer
games
 have no benefits for school-going, they destroy their mentality and physical development for the future. Most parents do not like to give them
this
 opportunity to use the internet
as well as
 virtual
games
.
This
 essay totally disagrees with the use of computers and online
games
 for students. First of all, I want to share that, why virtual
games
 hamper to mental growth of children.
This
 online game is like a mind game they are using their brain to draft different types of operations and fighting or so many unwanted things. For that reason, they can not apply
this
 brain for any productive work and new creations to help our society.
For example
, my younger brother and sister every day they are passing 6 to 8 hours playing video
games
 online by using mobile and computers. After their final exam, they fall in all subjects. So right now they are restricted from using mobile phones and computers for playing online
games
.
On the other hand
, It is harmful to physical health, If children are not doing any exercises for daily life. Without physical activity, they can not get good body in the future. The free time they spend on very unusual activities, can not give them a charmingness and fresh mentality for physical development. They will suffer from obesity, high blood pressure, and depression. In our wealthy society, younger babies are spending time with online
games
 and eating junk food. After 10 years they have fallen into health sickness.
This
 is not good for any healthy life. In conclusion, It should be totally restricted for every youngster for a better future and good health. When they understand it can not give us productive things and a well-being mentality they will come from there.
Submitted by nuresadikchowdhury175 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: