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Band 4

People are behind fashion.What are the factors influencing fashion?Is it good to be fashionable?Discuss both the Pros and Cons.What your take?

#people #fashion #factors
Music
 is the most definitive part of every civilization and it displays their culture and thoughts.
However
, nowadays people tend to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 international
music
 and forget about
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local one.
This
 tendency and its influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
 and society will be observed in
this
 essay. First of all, it is necessary to understand the effect of
music
. In most
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 it is written in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way to
translate
Wrong verb form
translates
show examples
 emotions and
thouths
Correct your spelling
thoughts
 and share
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 with the listeners. It might help to handle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
negative feelings and elevate positive ones. Musicians create it as a piece of art
that is
ment
Correct your spelling
meant
 to be enjoyed by everyone. Is that true for every type of
music
? Traditional artists create their songs to tell stories of the old
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 and teach us about the importance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moral
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
. Every
singe
Correct your spelling
single
show examples
 one of them has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 distinguishable sounds and is it easy to determine the origins of their
insrtuments
Correct your spelling
instruments
.
On the other hand
, international
music
 helps people to unite and each composition brings universal ideas that could be enjoyed by everyone.
Moreover
, it helps us to better understand each other and to find something in common.
However
, research
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 The Sun discovered that in spite of its huge popularity, international
music
 has
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 small amount of loyal fans. Local bands have a small group of fans but every single one of them
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 everything about their musicians and
enjoy
Correct subject-verb agreement
enjoys
show examples
 it from the very bottom of their hearts. In the end, it could be said that it does not matter which
music
 is better
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because the core idea of it is to be pleasing
for
Change preposition
to
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 a listener. People might enjoy different types of
music
 and they might give a million reasons why
this
 genre is the best.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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