In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In contemporary nations, people keep immigrating from rural areas to modern urban. Personally, I believe that

this

Linking Words

results in catastrophic problems. Immigration to megacities can bring about numerous drawbacks. To start with, people are moving to cities in order to seek job and educational opportunities and recreational facilities which can immediately lead to urban sprawl.

That is

Linking Words

, more and more high-rise apartments and public transport have to be provided in demand of

this

Linking Words

overpopulation.

Therefore

Linking Words

, there will be inadequate housing and facilities for these city dwellers. Take Tehran (the capital of Iran) as an example. Nowadays, Tehran is a concrete jungle. Overpopulation in

this

Linking Words

city not only has led to inadequate accommodation but

also

Linking Words

has

initially

Linking Words

resulted in a second thorny issue which is

traffic

Use synonyms

congestion.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, people who live in megacities encounter bumper-to-bumper

traffic

Use synonyms

every single day. To clarify, inefficient public transport and loads of private cars on the streets are the most potential factors for

this

Linking Words

traffic

Use synonyms

issue.

For instance

Linking Words

, when you want to drive from the west part of Tehran to the east part, you will mire in standstill

traffic

Use synonyms

which takes at least three hours to arrive at your destination. What’s more,

this

Linking Words

massive exodus from land to cities may bring about abandoned countryside.

This

Linking Words

means that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

more agrarian is abandoning their farms and lands in order to fill job vacancies in cities where they can gain more money.

However

Linking Words

, leaving farms behind results in less cultivation and a shortage in food supply.

Hence

Linking Words

, the less cultivation and productivity, the more food scarcity and dependency on other societies.

To conclude

Linking Words

, immigration from the countryside to the megacities leads to so many downsides

such

Linking Words

traffic

Use synonyms

congestion, inadequate housing, and food shortage.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I am totally convinced that

this

Linking Words

is a negative improvement.

Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on Tue Jun 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

While your essay addresses the main points of the topic effectively, consider providing a more balanced view by discussing any potential positive aspects, even if you ultimately disagree with them. This would demonstrate your ability to critically evaluate all sides of the issue.

coherence cohesion

Ensure clarity in your writing by avoiding unnecessary repetition and making sure your arguments flow logically from one to the next. For instance, the points about urban sprawl and traffic congestion could be more cohesively linked.

task response

Your essay includes specific examples, such as the situation in Tehran, to support your arguments. This strengthens the response and makes your points more relatable and convincing.

coherence cohesion

You effectively use transitional phrases like "To start with," "Furthermore," and "What’s more" to guide readers through your arguments. This aids in the readability and flow of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
It's its very essential for all students to understand an idea and analyze it to understand certain theory . However, I absolutely agree this statement for more reliaise all facts . In this essay , I would like to discussed the agreement supported with reasons .
6.5
band
Nowadays women have full-time work as same as men. And logically men should share the household equally with women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary world, women have been breaking the traditional norms by engaging in full-time work, matching the same occupational responsibilities as men. This societal shift has raised an essential question: Should men share the household chores equally with women? In my perspective, I completely agree with this notion.
6.5
band
Some people think technology makes life complex, so we should make life simpler within using technology. Do you agree or disagree
In the beginning of the Digital Age, Skills have also become indispensable to people’s lives. However, some inhabitants say that technology makes living more complicated, it seems to me that I'm afraid I have to disagree with this opinion.
4.5
band
In some countries the number of children aged 15 and younger are increasing dramatically. what are the current and future effects of an ever-increasing population?
Todays, most countries proportion of teenagers have dramatic growth. this phenomenon will undoubtedly have some short-term impacts on education. Although, serious problems arisen as a result of this in the future, steps can be taken to mitigate these potential problems.
4
band
The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the price of fuels. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is no dyning the fact that fules are the bigest issues among of other pollutions subctense.Whlie it is a commonly held belief sugestion the government to takle this issue by increase fule price,there is also an argument opposes it.In my opinion, i consider the athurity have to do a view simpl steps to solve the of this issue rathar than gets the price high.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Nowadays women have full-time work as same as men. And logically men should share the household equally with women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think technology makes life complex, so we should make life simpler within using technology. Do you agree or disagree

In some countries the number of children aged 15 and younger are increasing dramatically. what are the current and future effects of an ever-increasing population?

The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the price of fuels. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?