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Band 6.5

This graph provides us with percentage information about four entertainment attractions that most visited by tourists in Brighton among 1980-2010.

This graph provides us with percentage information about four entertainment attractions that most visited by tourists in Brighton among 1980-2010.
#percentage #information #four #entertainment #attractions #tourists #brighton
This
 graph provides us with
percentage
 information about four entertainment attractions that
most
Add a missing verb
were most
show examples
 visited by
tourists
 in Brighton
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1980-2010.
Overall
, the
visitors
 of
pavilion
 rose,
while
 the
visitors
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Pier
Correct article usage
the Pier
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
low level
percentage
 in comparison with other entertainment centres. In
addiion
Correct your spelling
addition
,the
visitors
 of
art
 centre rose in 1985 and had a
dramatically
Change the adverb
dramatic
show examples
 drop in 1990. As we see, the
tourists
 that visited
Pavilion
 were in high
percentage
.
Pavilion
 reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 brilliant 48
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 which is
really
Correct article usage
a really
show examples
 high level in comparison with
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
 gallery that reached 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of visited
tourists
 in 1995.
Furthermore
, we can observe the
dramatically
Change the adverb
dramatic
show examples
 rise of visited
tourists
 of
Pavilion
 between 1985 and 1995,
while
 the
visitors
 of
Art
 gallery fell steadily from 1987 to 2010.
In contrast
, there was
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
 fall
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
visitors
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Festival
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
 between 1980-1995 and
then
 a
gradually
Change the word
gradual
show examples
 rise from 23
percent
 to 28
percent
 between 1995-2010.
Besides
, from the
graph
Add a comma
,graph
show examples
 we can clearly see of
percentage
 of
tourists
 in Pier
that had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fluctuated wildly in comparison with
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
 gallery and reached 22
percent
 in 2010
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, tourists, visitors, pavilion, art, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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