IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people are copying famous celebrities from magazines and TV. Why is this happening? Do you think it's a good idea to copy celebrities?

#people #celebrities #magazines #tv #idea #copy
In the contemporary era, it has become increasingly common for the younger generation to imitate renowned celebrities.
This
 essay will delve into the reasons that contribute to
this
 phenomenon before presenting my personal stance on the matter. There are some reasons that shed light on why individuals model themselves on famous
people
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 magazines and TV.
Firstly
, it has become much easier for
people
 to follow their idols
due to
 the widespread of social
media
. Almost every celebrity in modern days has their own social
media
 accounts on Twitter and Instagram where they can post anything without traditional
media
 filters.
Consequently
, fans can receive regular updates from the superstars simply at their fingertips.
Furthermore
, some individuals copy well-known
people
 to emulate their
success
. Influencers usually show off their affluent life via their social platforms to captivate attention. Their lavish lifestyles are admired and idolized by certain populations. These
people
 try to follow whatever their idols do to seek similar
success
.
However
, I doubt that the cult following of celebrities is beneficial to the individuals and the society.
In addition
, everyone has their own disposition and experience. Imitating others does not guarantee
success
 but risks demolishing one’s personality.
Moreover
, not every famous person brings a positive impact on society as some of them normalize bad habits and do not act as good models to the public.
This
 is exemplified by Justin Bieber, a famed singer all over the world, who was exposed to drug use and alcohol addiction, posing a detrimental impact on his younger fans who are still immature at their ages. In conclusion, the rise of social
media
 and desirability to
success
 increase
people
’s tendency to follow famous groups. It poses some problems from individual and societal perspectives, threatening one’s individualism and influencing the youth with bad examples.
Submitted by yoyoghurtxd on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the main topic and your stance on the issue. Also, restate the main points in the conclusion to provide closure to the essay.
Task Response
Your response adequately addresses the task by presenting reasons for the phenomenon and expressing your personal opinion. Continue to provide examples and develop your ideas further to improve task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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