There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

Nowadays, parents push their children to focus on academic

subjects

more than physical

subjects

While

others believe that non-academic

subjects

are not necessary. I completely disagree, and in

this

essay, I will discuss why I do not agree with them and I will support my opinion with examples.

Firstly

, children need to study both

subjects

academic and non-academic, especially at

school

, from elementary

school

to high

school

For instance

, Mathe, Science ... etc., as academic, and sport, cooking, dance... etc., as non-academic. Because it will help them to choose what they want to be in the future and what they want to concentrate on in university. Another reason why I disagree with removing non-academic

subjects

from

school

is that it is a skill and a kind of hobby. Take sports as an example, If they are playing basketball, they will learn how to play as a team, they will learn how to accept the loss and how to avoid it... etc.

In addition

, they need

this

kind of skills when they work in the future.

On the other hand

, we can concentrate on academic

subjects

without removing the non-academic, because they are important in the long term. And it is a part of our social life. In conclusion, I strongly believe that both

subjects

are important to take in

school

to develop their knowledge by learning academic

subjects

and build their skills by learning non-academic things.

However

, all of these will be more useful when they start their career bath in the future.

Submitted by halah.z.alamri on Tue Sep 19 2023

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Sentence 3 - Discussion
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter Describe the vacation spot you have chosen Explain how you plan to spend your time there Invite your friend to join you on your vacation.

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Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valued to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.