Some people think the manufacturers or shopping malls should sell less packaged products and others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals believe that the producers or retail centres ought to sell less packaged goods, and others think that folks have the responsibility to buy
products
with less packaging. I believe that we should reduce the use
of excessive packaging, and communities should consider when they buy some merchandise.
On the one hand, our technology has developed, we can use
various package materials such
as vinyl
. Also
, vinyl
is convenient for packaging items, so many manufacturers use
vinyl
. However
, it is a serious problem for our environment. For example
, when some nations buy a product with vinyl
packaging and throw it out, that will be buried in the ground, and that thing never disappears just remains and pollutes our ground. As a result
, our nature will be destroyed and there are many emissions comes from that make our health worse. Therefore
, makers should sell fewer packaged goods because it is harmful to our societies.
On the other hand
, some people go to shopping malls and buy products
with vinyl
packaging because most products
with eco-friendly packaging are more expensive than those artefacts so individuals do not think about the vinyl
package. For instance
, some customers buy a paper bag and put in some goods that bag will be torn because of just a paper. But, if use
a vinyl
bag, it does not tear any situation, so many folks buy offerings even if they know about nature destruction. For
this
reason, they should have the responsibility because they must consider buying eco-friendly packaging products
not just for convenience.
In conclusion, I believe that both producers and customers should not only consider alternative packaging materials but also
support the development of new, eco-friendly materials because if this
phenomenon keeps going, our health will be worse as well as
our children's. So, if we use
less vinyl
packaging, it will be good not only for our societies but also
for our nature.Submitted by livewire53 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks logical cohesion and coherent development of ideas. A clearer structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is needed. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to state the main idea, and ensure all subsequent sentences relate directly to it, maintaining focus and relevance. Moreover, transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smoother, providing a clear line of progression through the essay.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, it could benefit from stronger task achievement by providing a more detailed and balanced discussion of both views. To enhance the score, substantiate argument points with relevant, specific examples, and ensure the response is complete by thoroughly addressing all parts of the prompt. Reflect on each view equally before concluding with a reasoned opinion backed by thorough analysis.