Some people think the manufacturers or shopping malls should sell less packaged products and others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals believe that the producers or retail centres ought to sell less packaged goods, and others think that folks have the responsibility to buy
products
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with less packaging. I believe that we should reduce the
use
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of excessive packaging, and communities should consider when they buy some merchandise. On the one hand, our technology has developed, we can
use
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various package materials
such
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as
vinyl
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.
Also
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,
vinyl
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is convenient for packaging items, so many manufacturers
use
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vinyl
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.
However
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, it is a serious problem for our environment.
For example
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, when some nations buy a product with
vinyl
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packaging and throw it out, that will be buried in the ground, and that thing never disappears just remains and pollutes our ground.
As a result
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, our nature will be destroyed and there are many emissions comes from that make our health worse.
Therefore
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, makers should sell fewer packaged goods because it is harmful to our societies.
On the other hand
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, some people go to shopping malls and buy
products
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with
vinyl
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packaging because most
products
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with eco-friendly packaging are more expensive than those artefacts so individuals do not think about the
vinyl
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package.
For instance
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, some customers buy a paper bag and put in some goods that bag will be torn because of just a paper. But, if
use
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a
vinyl
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bag, it does not tear any situation, so many folks buy offerings even if they know about nature destruction.
For
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this
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reason, they should have the responsibility because they must consider buying eco-friendly packaging
products
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not just for convenience. In conclusion, I believe that both producers and customers should not only consider alternative packaging materials but
also
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support the development of new, eco-friendly materials because if
this
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phenomenon keeps going, our health will be worse
as well as
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our children's. So, if we
use
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less
vinyl
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packaging, it will be good not only for our societies but
also
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for our nature.
Submitted by livewire53 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks logical cohesion and coherent development of ideas. A clearer structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is needed. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to state the main idea, and ensure all subsequent sentences relate directly to it, maintaining focus and relevance. Moreover, transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smoother, providing a clear line of progression through the essay.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, it could benefit from stronger task achievement by providing a more detailed and balanced discussion of both views. To enhance the score, substantiate argument points with relevant, specific examples, and ensure the response is complete by thoroughly addressing all parts of the prompt. Reflect on each view equally before concluding with a reasoned opinion backed by thorough analysis.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive packaging
  • plastic waste
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable production
  • consumption
  • eco-friendly lifestyle
  • raise awareness
  • informed choices
  • personal carbon footprint
  • prioritize environmental sustainability
  • reduce packaging waste
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