IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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In
this
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 new generation there are many
people
Use synonyms
 obsessed with using
a
Remove the article
apply
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new technology, and that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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bring
Change the verb form
brought
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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several benefits that
harms
Change the verb form
harm
show examples
, Personally, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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The
Correct article usage
apply
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technological knowledge
have
Change the verb form
has
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 a positive effect on the entire society,
this
Linking Words
 essay will consider that, I feel that for two reasons which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explore in the following essay.
To begin
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 with, the world experience a high
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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 in technology advancement.
In addition
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, most
people
Use synonyms
 use it to enhance their knowledge and the ability
of receiving
Replace the preposition
to receive
show examples
 new thoughts,
additionally
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, Technological advancement,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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helps many companies and schools
also
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 the government to improve
tthe
Correct your spelling
the
 quality of their work,
For instance
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, Tesla
add
Wrong verb form
added
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 many options
on
Change preposition
to
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 their cars.
Also
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, their factories have
developing
Wrong verb form
developed
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 an adequate work system.
On the other hand
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, Technology
brought
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has had
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 a bad effect on the nation
such
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 as
,
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apply
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The
Correct article usage
apply
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intelligent artificial, social media and more search
engine
Fix the agreement mistake
engines
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. That
distract
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
show examples
people
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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 their lives.
For example
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,
The
Correct article usage
apply
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intelligent artificial make
people
Use synonyms
 lazy for doing tasks,
such
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 as Chatgpt assist human
to write
Change preposition
in writing
show examples
 any scripts that require a lot of time, the second technological
developement
Correct your spelling
development
is the
robotic
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robotics
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. they can do
a
Correct article usage
apply
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relative work like
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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.
Nevertheless
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,
that is
Linking Words
 very
danegrous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
 for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
To conclude
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, it is frequently said that, Technological advancement
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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hepls
Correct your spelling
helps
 the nation to upgrade their aptitude and
visioning
Replace the word
vision
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 into the world more flexibly,
In contrast
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,
altough
Correct your spelling
although
 there are drawbacks
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 writing scripts for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 and designing new
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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. Without any efforts from
people
Use synonyms
 and that
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 them very idle, I strongly
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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believe that are
supporting
Wrong verb form
support
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 my point of view.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clarity and coherence in presenting the ideas, leading to confusion for the reader. The essay should be organized logically with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task but lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. The examples provided are somewhat relevant to the topic, but they need to be more specific and well-developed to support the arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Job automation
  • Artificial intelligence
  • Productivity
  • Job displacement
  • Unemployment
  • Diagnostic tools
  • Patient care
  • Privacy
  • Data security
  • Genetic modification
  • Renewable energy
  • Resource efficiency
  • Electronic waste
  • Carbon footprint
  • Pollution
  • Social media
  • Cyberbullying
  • Digital addiction
  • Digital divide
  • Misinformation
  • Democratized access
  • Face-to-face interactions
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