Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In
this
new generation there are many
people
obsessed with using
a
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apply
show examples
new technology, and that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
bring
Change the verb form
brought
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
several benefits that
harms
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harm
show examples
, Personally, I believe that
,
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apply
show examples
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological knowledge
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a positive effect on the entire society,
this
essay will consider that, I feel that for two reasons which
i
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I
show examples
will explore in the following essay.
To begin
with, the world experience a high
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
in technology advancement.
In addition
, most
people
use it to enhance their knowledge and the ability
of receiving
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to receive
show examples
new thoughts,
additionally
, Technological advancement,
it
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apply
show examples
helps many companies and schools
also
the government to improve
tthe
Correct your spelling
the
quality of their work,
For instance
, Tesla
add
Wrong verb form
added
show examples
many options
on
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to
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their cars.
Also
, their factories have
developing
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developed
show examples
an adequate work system.
On the other hand
, Technology
brought
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has had
show examples
a bad effect on the nation
such
as
,
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apply
show examples
The
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apply
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intelligent artificial, social media and more search
engine
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engines
show examples
. That
distract
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distracts
show examples
people
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their lives.
For example
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
intelligent artificial make
people
lazy for doing tasks,
such
as Chatgpt assist human
to write
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in writing
show examples
any scripts that require a lot of time, the second technological
developement
Correct your spelling
development
is the
robotic
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robotics
show examples
. they can do
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relative work like
human
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humans
show examples
.
Nevertheless
,
that is
very
danegrous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
To conclude
, it is frequently said that, Technological advancement
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hepls
Correct your spelling
helps
the nation to upgrade their aptitude and
visioning
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vision
show examples
into the world more flexibly,
In contrast
,
altough
Correct your spelling
although
there are drawbacks
such
as
,
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apply
show examples
writing scripts for
human
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humans
show examples
and designing new
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
. Without any efforts from
people
and that
make
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makes
show examples
them very idle, I strongly
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
believe that are
supporting
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
my point of view.
Submitted by alihafiid on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clarity and coherence in presenting the ideas, leading to confusion for the reader. The essay should be organized logically with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task but lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. The examples provided are somewhat relevant to the topic, but they need to be more specific and well-developed to support the arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Job automation
  • Artificial intelligence
  • Productivity
  • Job displacement
  • Unemployment
  • Diagnostic tools
  • Patient care
  • Privacy
  • Data security
  • Genetic modification
  • Renewable energy
  • Resource efficiency
  • Electronic waste
  • Carbon footprint
  • Pollution
  • Social media
  • Cyberbullying
  • Digital addiction
  • Digital divide
  • Misinformation
  • Democratized access
  • Face-to-face interactions
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