The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The chart illustrates the male contribution rates in senior development of IBM,Microsoft and
Apple
over a time period of 30
years
from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
, it can be clearly recognised a gain of men in higher positions over the three decades for all three companies. In the
year
1980,
apple
consisted of 15% of male seniors
while
the least was from IBM at a rate of 3%.
In contrast
, in the
year
2010, IBM showed a climb of 63%.
However
,
this
is not the case for
Apple
and the graph depicts a rate of 25% which is not a considerable growth from the
year
1980. Microsoft indicates a moderate increase during the 30
years
starting from a percentage of 17% in 1980 and the latest development was 45% in the
year
2010. Even though Microsoft have a steady improvement throughout the
years
1985 to 2000, during the
last
10
years
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
male involvement has boomed from 30%. Considerably,
Apple
's high position male employees fluctuated during that time.
For instance
, there was a downward trend from 1980 to 1985 and it goes up in the
years
of 1990 and 1995.
Consequently
, it again shows a decrease in the
year
2000 and
then
rose in the
year
2010.
Submitted by prarthana1r on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words apple, years, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "considerable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: