The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in different parts of the world.

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in different parts of the world.
The given graph represents the difference between global tourist arrivals in 5 different parts of the earth from 1990 until 2005 year.
Overall
, the country North
America
was all the time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
peak
Add an article
the peak
show examples
,
however
, South
America
was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
its minimum position until the end. It can be clearly seen that North
America
from
1990
Change the article
the 1990
show examples
year with 70
million
visitors increased
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
approximately 90
million
in
2005
Change the article
the 2005
show examples
year,
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
South
America
improved from almost 9
million
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
just over 13
million
, but the letter was almost all time on its minimum position. It is interesting to note that both Central and Eastern Europe and
South-East
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
Asia uplifted dramatically till the end.
Moreover
, the former increased around three times, from 30 to 90
million
,and the
letter
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
increased more than two times from 20 to just over 45
million
. It is obvious that countries Sub-Saharan Africa and South
America
improved almost
similar
Change the word
similarly
show examples
,
furthermore
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
countries
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
not reach 25
million
tourists.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
Vocabulary: Replace the words america, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "improved" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: