IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? what other things can people do t try and have a satisfying working life?

#people #career #path #lives #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Ambition is one important aspect
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 any individual in life. People have their likes and dislikes which eventually takes them to choose their career path. I agree to the point deciding career goals in the early stage of life is very
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
important. A man with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clear goals will have a focused mind which helps him to achieve his dreams. For
e.g.
Correct your spelling
example
 Virat Kohli
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 inspiration for me. The kind of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and dedication he has towards his responsibilities is an astonishing part. All that success he got because of the mindset he has developed within himself. "Mind should control your body".
This
Linking Words
 saying perfectly describes the ability to stay at the top at the world level even after going through many failures tells us
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how tough a man can become in achieving his dreams. Every person has his interests in several fields. It might be technology, sports, music or even arts but making your passion
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
your professional gives you more satisfaction than doing work just for money or
name sake
Correct your spelling
namesake
show examples
. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
 there will be obstacles when you want to achieve great things, but the ability to withstand and move forward describes the character of a person.
Submitted by pavanpdesai1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: