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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #holidays #year #vacations
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Some argue that multiple short
breaks
Use synonyms
 provide more variety and opportunities for relaxation,
while
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 others contend that extended vacations offer deeper rejuvenation and the chance to explore distant destinations. In my opinion, despite shorter days, having frequent
time
Use synonyms
 off from a full-
time
Use synonyms
 job will be a healthier option. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 will earn several benefits from long vacations.
Firstly
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, one of the apparent advantages is the opportunity to earn significant relaxation and rejuvenation. Longer
breaks
Use synonyms
 allow
people
Use synonyms
 to disconnect from the stresses of their daily routines, providing more
time
Use synonyms
 to unwind and recharge.
Secondly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can plan to travel to farther destinations when they have enormous break times. It will give them a chance for individuals to explore new cultures,
have
Correct word choice
and have
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 healthier relationships with other distant
people
Use synonyms
while
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also
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gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
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 cost efficiency during holidays.
For instance
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,
people
Use synonyms
 who work or live outside of their home countries can spend longer
time
Use synonyms
 with their families on holiday.
On the other hand
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, short holidays will provide more variety and opportunities for relaxation. With several short
breaks
Use synonyms
 throughout the year, individuals can prevent burnout and reduce stress.
Thus
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, It will maintain a better work-life balance for all individuals.
Furthermore
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, by pacing the intervals between
time
Use synonyms
 off,
people
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 may find themselves less bored during the holiday and present in the workplace after coming back, enhancing productivity and
overall
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 job satisfaction.
For example
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,
this
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 method is quite familiar to making more
breaks
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. Some companies are working on changing their work routine from 5 days with 8 hours to 4 days with 10 hours for employees to have an extra break day. In conclusion, each individual's circumstances will decide which one is better for their
lifestyles
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyle
show examples
.For specific
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
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 environments in our modern world, having several short holidays may be an ideal break as it will prevent
burn out
Correct your spelling
burnout
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,
maintain
Correct word choice
and maintain
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work-life
Correct article usage
a work-life
show examples
 balance for productivity in work.
Submitted by namle.ivce on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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