The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from

sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and

make comparisons where relevant.
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The given diagram presents the process of utilizing the
sugar
Use synonyms
cane to produce
sugar
Use synonyms
in a
sugar
Use synonyms
production factory.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed that there are 7 main steps involved in
this
Linking Words
process, beginning in the
sugar
Use synonyms
cane farmland and
finally
Linking Words
forming into
sugar
Use synonyms
. Based on the illustration, after approximately 12 to 18 months period for the crops, which are the raw material of
sugar
Use synonyms
, to mature, they
then
Linking Words
be harvested in two means: by farmers or by a specialised device. These sources are
subsequently
Linking Words
, transferred to the factory and form into juice through a crushing machine. In the next stage, to purify the initial juice, the liquid goes through a limestone filter, after which emerges in an evaporator. Before the next step, purified juice in the container is heated by means of fire and transformed into another form, known as syrup.
This
Linking Words
newly formed material
then
Linking Words
fills the centrifuge, which in turn separates
sugar
Use synonyms
crystals from the syrup by spinning quickly enough. Afterwards,
sugar
Use synonyms
, isolated from syrup, is dried and cooled in another bucket and
finally
Linking Words
packaged to shops.
Submitted by imagicky on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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