The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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The usage of social

media

Use synonyms

has been increasing rapidly since

this

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century. Some people believe

this

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growing trend has a detrimental impact on face-to-face communication,

whereas

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I believe contracting via these tools has significant benefits. The usage of cutting-edge communicational technologies in recent decades has improved significantly. Some individuals claim that

while

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we are using them, we will lose our sense of having in-person speaking. They say that

this

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is because people feel that if we spend with others online,

this

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would be enough for them.

In contrast

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this

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will make them more socially isolated in society.

Additionally

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, people will considerably less engage in effective communication activities outdoors in communities,

while

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they can talk and share their ideas online.

Consequently

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, they argue,

this

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will definitely die out the sense of belonging in human beings.

However

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, I believe these arguments cannot hinder us from using the advantages of social

media

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. The reason is that many individuals are living far from their loved ones.

Therefore

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, the only chance for them to see their family and friends is through social

media

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For instance

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, thanks to significant developments in

media

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, an abroad student who lives in Canada can see his or her parents online with the help of apps like Facebook, Skype, or WhatsApp.

This

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will result in a decrease in the level of worry and anxiety between humans.

Moreover

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, there are many online community-based forms in many apps

such

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as Reddit or Twitter which helps folks to share their personal experience to help others.

This

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will not only promote a sensibility of morality between us but

also

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effects dramatically on our sympathy.

To conclude

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Although

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some individuals advocate that social

media

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is harming our in-personal contact, I believe there are substantial advantages like fostering a sense of sympathy and morality between humans and reducing some bad feelings in our communications which can surpass the downsides of

this

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development.

mahanmxdThu Sep 21 2023

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Task Achievement

While your essay beautifully argues for the benefits of social media, ensure every point directly supports your stance with clear examples or data, even if it's evident during discussions. This adds credibility.

Coherence & Cohesion

Vary your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement. Experiment with complex sentences and passive voice to demonstrate linguistic flexibility.

Introduction

Your introduction sets a clear tone for the discussion, establishing a balanced view before arguing for one side. This is excellent for engaging readers and showing an understanding of the topic.

Organization

Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect or argument, followed by a relevant example or explanation. This keeps your essay logically organized and easy for readers to follow.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay’s main points while reiterating your position. This reinforces your arguments and leaves a strong impression on the reader.

Supporting Examples

Incorporating examples such as the student living abroad and community forums on Reddit and Twitter was a strong strategy. It concretely demonstrates how social media bridges gaps, supporting your thesis convincingly.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sport facilitates than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. Agree or disagree?

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