The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The usage of social
media
has been increasing rapidly since
this
century. Some people believe
this
growing trend has a detrimental impact on face-to-face communication,
whereas
I believe contracting via these tools has significant benefits. The usage of cutting-edge communicational technologies in recent decades has improved significantly. Some individuals claim that
while
we are using them, we will lose our sense of having in-person speaking. They say that
this
is because people feel that if we spend with others online,
this
would be enough for them.
In contrast
,
this
will make them more socially isolated in society.
Additionally
, people will considerably less engage in effective communication activities outdoors in communities,
while
they can talk and share their ideas online.
Consequently
, they argue,
this
will definitely die out the sense of belonging in human beings.
However
, I believe these arguments cannot hinder us from using the advantages of social
media
. The reason is that many individuals are living far from their loved ones.
Therefore
, the only chance for them to see their family and friends is through social
media
.
For instance
, thanks to significant developments in
media
, an abroad student who lives in Canada can see his or her parents online with the help of apps like Facebook, Skype, or WhatsApp.
This
will result in a decrease in the level of worry and anxiety between humans.
Moreover
, there are many online community-based forms in many apps
such
as Reddit or Twitter which helps folks to share their personal experience to help others.
This
will not only promote a sensibility of morality between us but
also
effects dramatically on our sympathy.
To conclude
,
Although
some individuals advocate that social
media
is harming our in-personal contact, I believe there are substantial advantages like fostering a sense of sympathy and morality between humans and reducing some bad feelings in our communications which can surpass the downsides of
this
development.
Submitted by mahanmxd on

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Task Achievement
While your essay beautifully argues for the benefits of social media, ensure every point directly supports your stance with clear examples or data, even if it's evident during discussions. This adds credibility.
Coherence & Cohesion
Vary your sentence structures more to enhance readability and engagement. Experiment with complex sentences and passive voice to demonstrate linguistic flexibility.
Introduction
Your introduction sets a clear tone for the discussion, establishing a balanced view before arguing for one side. This is excellent for engaging readers and showing an understanding of the topic.
Organization
Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect or argument, followed by a relevant example or explanation. This keeps your essay logically organized and easy for readers to follow.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay’s main points while reiterating your position. This reinforces your arguments and leaves a strong impression on the reader.
Supporting Examples
Incorporating examples such as the student living abroad and community forums on Reddit and Twitter was a strong strategy. It concretely demonstrates how social media bridges gaps, supporting your thesis convincingly.

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