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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#bar #information #subjects #students #two #middle #schools #school #b #features #comparisons
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The bar chart depicts information about the favourite subjects of
students
Use synonyms
 from
school
Use synonyms
 A and
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is noticeable that
school
Use synonyms
 A had the largest number of
students
Use synonyms
 than
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 in the period given.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sports in
school
Use synonyms
 A were the most popular
subject
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
science
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 had the smallest quantity of
students
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was a considerable difference in craft and drawing between the two schools.
To begin
Linking Words
 with sports, in
school
Use synonyms
 A the quantity of
students
Use synonyms
 was higher compared to
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 , namely 36 and 5 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the figure for
subject
Use synonyms
 craft and drawing in
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 was just 25,
whereas
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 accounted for only 4. In terms of language,
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 accounted for 18 which is three half times bigger than
School
Use synonyms
 A ( 5). With regards to social
science
Use synonyms
, there was a negligible difference in the number of
students
Use synonyms
 between the two schools, with approximately 10 and 6.
However
Linking Words
,
subject
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 had 9 numbers of people in
school
Use synonyms
 A which is four times bigger than
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
subject
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 had the lowest number of
students
Use synonyms
 over the period in question.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, moreover".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, school, b, subject, science with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • comparative data
  • favorite subjects
  • middle schools
  • horizontal axis
  • vertical axis
  • quantifies
  • preference
  • initial observation
  • significantly greater interest
  • shared enthusiasm
  • favored
  • attracts more students
  • draws the highest number
  • popularity
  • outliers
  • subject preferences
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