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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that children should be made disciplined by making them obey rules and do what their parents and teachers want them to do. Others, however, believe that those children who are controlled are not well-prepared to tackle the challenges life brings to them. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #children #rules #parents #teachers #challenges #life
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The
up-bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
show examples
 of
children
 is a very delicate and debatable topic among people. People's opinions differ on whether
children
 should be controlled to follow
rules
 made by their teachers and parents,
while
 others are of the opinion that teenagers should not be forced to be
in discipline
Change preposition
disciplined
show examples
 as
this
 hampers their ability to tackle challenges in future. Prior to forming any opinion, I will be discussing both the point of view in the upcoming paragraphs. The
ones
 who are of the opinion that mentors and guardians should make the pupils obey the
rules
 and regulations and teach them to be disciplined have their own viewpoints.
Firstly
, Mentees may go on
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 paths.
This
 can be because they are not mature enough to understand what is good or bad for them.
For example
, we have seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pupils who are orphans or
who's
Correct your spelling
whose
show examples
 parents are not
giving
Verb problem
paying
show examples
 attention to them will become drug addicted.
Therefore
, elders should always be attentive
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
children
 and make some
rules
 so that they
should
Verb problem
can
show examples
 stay
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the part of society who are of the point that young
ones
 should not be controlled have their own reasons. The main reason is that it will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 development of the brain and they will not be ready to take any step by themselves and always be dependent on their
elder
Correct your spelling
older
show examples
ones
 for their decisions.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 who are
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
free in their childhood resulted to be more successful in their lives as compared to
ones
 who are always stopped from doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things as per their
wish
Fix the agreement mistake
wishes
show examples
.
Additionally
, they will never listen to their heart and be happy in their life. They always think
that
Change preposition
about
show examples
 whether doing
this
 thing is beneficial or not.
To conclude
,
while
 people have differentiating opinions, I am of the view that
children
 should not be controlled or forced to follow
rules
 because of the bad impact of controlling their minds and wishes on
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 development of the brain which can become a hurdle for them in the way of success.
Submitted by caashishgoyal96 on

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