IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #books #imagination #language #skills #tv
It is considered that
people
 reading
books
 is a better way to develop their imaginations and language skills in comparison with
TV
. In my perspective, I totally agree with
this
 statement and my reasons will be given in
this
 essay. On the one hand,
people
preferring reading
Wrong verb form
who prefer to read
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books
 will have more chances to enhance their imagination
better
Rephrase
apply
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than those who watch
TV
 programs or movies. To be more specific, reading
require
Change the verb form
requires
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 readers to use their imagination and creativity to explain the words and meanings written
from
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in
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 the book.
For instance
, reading a novel can bring
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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bibliophiles to the world of creativity and imagination where they can use their creative thinking to understand more clearly
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apply
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about
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apply
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the story that the author
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to deliver through the book.
In contrast
, watching
TV
 seems to leave no door for
people
’s creative thinking because they seem to watch the
people
 and their surroundings through visual effects.
On the other hand
, reading
books
 can create more chances for
people
 to commit not only
with
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to
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 written language but
also
support
Fix the infinitive
to support
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 them with their spells and vocabularies. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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, taking myself as an example because of reading economic
books
 , I can learn many useful words and phrases related to
this
 topic which can be used in my IELTS essay to improve my writing band score.
Beside
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Besides
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 that reading
books
demand
Correct subject-verb agreement
demands
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people
 to spend time
for
Change preposition
apply
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processing the information written in the book if
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 want to understand its meaning;
whereas
;
people
 watching
TV
 can understand the
overall
 meanings of the movie through the pictures and action scenes of the characters in the movie.
Last
 but not least, the process of thinking and analyzing information
while
 reading
books
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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people
 to develop cognitive thinking and improve brain function, which has a positive impact on language skills development.
To conclude
, I have to say that reading
books
 has a lot of benefits than watching
TV
 and
people
 should spend more time
for
Change preposition
on
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books
instead
 of hooking
on
Change preposition
up on
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 the
TV
 screen.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task response
Articulate a clear opinion and support it throughout the essay. Ensure that the reasons provided directly address the prompt and maintain focus.
coherence and cohesion
Organize ideas in a more logical and cohesive manner. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs.
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