IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart provides some information about
revolutionary
Correct article usage
the revolutionary
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 born in
Australia
 and outside
Australia
Change preposition
as inhabitant
show examples
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
show examples
 of Urban, Rural, and
Town
Fix the agreement mistake
Towns
show examples
 between 1955 and 2010.
Overall
, both of them have
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 trend that
representative
Replace the word
represents
show examples
 residents by where they are born and living
merely
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. In 1995, 60
people
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 outside
Australia
 mostly living in the
Cities
, about
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15
people
 living in the
Towns
, and 40
people
 living in the Rural
Areas
.
Furthermore
,
similarity
Replace the word
a similar
show examples
 trend happens with
people
 born in
Australia
,
whereas
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 45
people
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in the
cities
, 20
people
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in the
Towns
, and 30
people
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in the Rural
Areas
.
Moreover
, in 2010, 60
people
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 outside
Australia
 mostly living in the
Cities
, about 10
people
 living in the town, and 8
people
 living in the Rural
Areas
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, it's around 65
people
 born in
Australia
 living in the
Cities
, and
balance
Correct article usage
the balance
show examples
 graph
given
Add a missing verb
is given
show examples
 by around
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15
people
 living in the
Towns
 and Rural
Areas
. There
are have
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
 changes between 1995 to 2010 which are
people
 born outside
Australia
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
 to
lives
Change the verb
live
show examples
 in
Cities
 higher than
people
 born in
Australia
 it self. The same trend
was happen
Wrong verb form
happened
show examples
 by following
people
Correct pronoun usage
who lives
show examples
lives
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
Towns
 and Rural
Area
Fix the agreement mistake
Areas
show examples
likewise
 as
indigeneous
Correct your spelling
indigenous
 (born in
Australia
) or outside
Australia
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, cities, towns, areas with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!