IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
A group of people contend that it is better for authorities to invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
rail
Correct article usage
the rail
show examples
 network rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 other modes of transport.
Although
, I believe that
this
 statement can be logical,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I think governments should
also
 have some plans to progress the
roads
 and highways. On the one hand, spending a part of financial resources on
roads
Change the noun form
road
show examples
 infrastructure
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a lot of benefits.
Firstly
,
expanding
Change preposition
by expanding
show examples
 the road networks and highways people can use their own cars for short and long journeys.
Therefore
, not only individuals will have their own privacy but
also
 they will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to travel to different sites and
cities
 without spending more time and costs.
In addition
, by developing the urban and rural
roads
 different parts of
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
 will flourish faster.
For example
, a farmer who
cultivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
cultivates
show examples
 some agricultural products he/her can deliver its products to the consumer as soon as possible.
On the other hand
, allocating more funds
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 rail networks is useful for any country for a number
reasons
Change preposition
of reasons
show examples
.
To begin
 with, a lot of accidents occur on
roads
 yearly because of using cars.
However
, travel by train has high safety and
hence
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of railways
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to an incredible
reducing
Replace the word
reduction
show examples
 in
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 toll and casualties.
Furthermore
, in recent decades air pollution has been an important issue in large
cities
. Anyway, it is clearly known that many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cities
 try to solve
this
 problem by urban train development.
To sum up
,
while
 spending money resources on subways and trains significantly
diminish
Correct subject-verb agreement
diminishes
show examples
 road casualties and contamination of
cities
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
 investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 road networks can be beneficial.
Submitted by sajad_danesh66 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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