In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benifits if society has more eldery people .To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages.

These days

Change preposition

in more

show examples

countries,

old

Correct article usage

the old

show examples

people

Use synonyms

population

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

larger

show examples

than the younger and children populations. Some

people

Use synonyms

say an ageing

poplulation creats

Correct your spelling

population creates

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

for governments.Others believe there are

gain

Fix the agreement mistake

gains

show examples

society

Use synonyms

has more

Use synonyms

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

Use synonyms

. I will discuss

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

outweigh the disadvantages and I give my opinion . On the one hand,Older

people

Use synonyms

are increasing.

Then

Linking Words

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of advantages are

creating

Wrong verb form

created

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can get

knowlegde

Correct your spelling

knowledge

and experience from old

people

Use synonyms

. Because older

people

Use synonyms

are mature

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

. They have

lot

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a lot

show examples

experiance

Correct your spelling

experience

and knowledge about

society

Use synonyms

, work areas and about life.

Secondly

Linking Words

. adult

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

very important for

youngers

Correct your spelling

younger

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

children

as well

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and

show examples

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can get help

fom

Correct your spelling

from elderly

eldery

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

Furthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

Use synonyms

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

Use synonyms

take

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

decisions always.

For example

Linking Words

, these days professors,

scientist

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scientists

show examples

and specialist doctors that ,high

level

Correct your spelling

high-level

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

posisions

Correct your spelling

positions

have

Use synonyms

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

government and private sectors are nominating them for higher

posisions

Correct your spelling

positions

position

due to

Linking Words

knowledge and experience.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some disadvantages are increasing

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

improving older

population

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

more money

for

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

Use synonyms

because

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

Should give

retirment

Correct your spelling

retirement

allowances

for

Change preposition

show examples

older

people

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, money is

wasting

Wrong verb form

wasted

show examples

. Another thing,

Use synonyms

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

is increasing.Spaces are decreasing. Nowadays younger adults leave

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their jobs because

lookaftering

Verb problem

they are looking

show examples

for older

people

Use synonyms

.It is an advantage in a

society

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

unemployments

Fix the agreement mistake

unemployment

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

increasing.

However

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

want to spend more money

for

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

elderly

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

medicine, food and other needs In Conclusion, I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

older

people

Use synonyms

are valuable

people

Use synonyms

in our world. They have experience and knowledge mostly.

Therefore

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

governments

and

people

Use synonyms

should protect our

Use synonyms

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

. I think that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the advantages of having an ageing

Use synonyms

Population

Fix capitalization

population

show examples

outweigh the disadvantages.

heshanij9

Sep 22, 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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