In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benifits if society has more eldery people .To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages.

#countries #people #population #governments #benifits #society #eldery

These days

Change preposition

in more

show examples

countries,

old

Correct article usage

the old

show examples

people

population

Correct word choice

larger

show examples

than the younger and children populations. Some

people

say an ageing

poplulation creats

Correct your spelling

population creates

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

for governments.Others believe there are

gain

Fix the agreement mistake

gains

show examples

society

has more

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

. I will discuss

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

outweigh the disadvantages and I give my opinion . On the one hand,Older

people

are increasing.

Then

number

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a number

the number

show examples

of advantages are

creating

Wrong verb form

created

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Firstly

people

can get

knowlegde

Correct your spelling

knowledge

and experience from old

people

. Because older

people

are mature

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

. They have

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

experiance

Correct your spelling

experience

and knowledge about

society

, work areas and about life.

Secondly

. adult

people

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people's

show examples

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

very important for

youngers

Correct your spelling

younger

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

children

as well

Correct word choice

and

show examples

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can get help

fom

Correct your spelling

from elderly

eldery

people

Furthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

take

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

decisions always.

For example

, these days professors,

scientist

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scientists

show examples

and specialist doctors that ,high

level

Correct your spelling

high-level

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

posisions

Correct your spelling

positions

have

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

as well as

government and private sectors are nominating them for higher

posisions

Correct your spelling

positions

position

due to

knowledge and experience.

On the other hand

, some disadvantages are increasing

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

improving older

population

In addition

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

more money

for

Change preposition

show examples

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

because

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

Should give

retirment

Correct your spelling

retirement

allowances

for

Change preposition

show examples

older

people

Therefore

, money is

wasting

Wrong verb form

wasted

show examples

. Another thing,

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

is increasing.Spaces are decreasing. Nowadays younger adults leave

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their jobs because

lookaftering

Verb problem

they are looking

show examples

for older

people

.It is an advantage in a

society

Moreover

unemployments

Fix the agreement mistake

unemployment

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

increasing.

However

people

want to spend more money

for

Change preposition

show examples

Correct your spelling

elderly

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

medicine, food and other needs In Conclusion, I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

older

people

are valuable

people

in our world. They have experience and knowledge mostly.

Therefore

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

governments

and

people

should protect our

eldery

Correct your spelling

elderly

people

Although

. I think that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the advantages of having an ageing

Population

Fix capitalization

population

show examples

outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by heshanij9 on Fri Sep 22 2023

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. [179]

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