It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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It has been observed that taking risks plays a vital role in individual’s both professional and personal lives.

While

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there are some drawbacks to taking risks in life, I believe its main benefits are more substantial. On the one hand, one of the principal advantages is that risks will bring new opportunities to people’s lives.

For instance

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, when people try to make new friends, they are, for sure, welcoming new relationships and connections that can be very intimate and benefit them in several ways. Another case in point can be the employees who opt to change their dull jobs and pursue what they truly love.

This

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situation may seem difficult at

first,

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but will definitely give them a sense of satisfaction in the long term, especially when they achieve their goals and make more profits by doing that new job.

On the other hand

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, a potential disadvantage may be experiencing failure that can be extremely detrimental and hard for some people to carry on with.

This

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would contribute to several psychological and physical problems that are not always easy to catch up.

For example

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, when people tend to put their money

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into

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games so as to have it increased, they are likely to even lose the amount they had

initially

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and face financial problems.

Hence

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, they are prone to feeling depressed and in some

cases

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cases,

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they will not be able to continue their life. On balance, even though taking steps out of

comfort

Correct pronoun usage

your comfort

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zone may seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.

However

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, I am strongly of the opinion that its positive effects in terms of having new opportunities and feeling accomplished override the drawbacks.

Submitted by mahtab.motevallian on Thu Jan 04 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents a clear position throughout the response. However, more emphasis on expanding the introductory and concluding paragraphs would strengthen the overall impact.

coherence cohesion

While coherence is maintained through logical connectors and a sequential flow of ideas, greater variety in sentence structuring and a more sophisticated use of cohesive devices would improve readability.

task achievement

The main points are supported, but to achieve a higher score, provide more detailed examples and make sure they are specifically linked to the points being made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

With the appearance of electronic devices such as computers and televisions, residents actually work out less which has negative effects on their health. Do you agree or disagree?

According to some people, death penalty must be used as a punishment for people who committed serious crimes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of capital punishment?

Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family including uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extend are you agree or disagree

The way someone dresses speaks volumes about their personality. To what extent do you agree?

Some high schools have a requirement that students must complete a certain amount of volunteer work in order to graduate. What do you think about this type of requirement? Give details to support your opinion.