IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The most important aim of science ought to be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is the highest premier goal of
science
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to be to ameliorate individual’s lives. Personally, I completely agree
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with
this
 opinion and think that
science
 is an integral part of
inhabit
Change the verb form
inhabiting
show examples
.
Firstly
, it is well-known that all the inventions in the past were achievements of the people and they are based on the requirements of
well-equipped
Add an article
a well-equipped
show examples
 happy life. One of the main reasons behind
that is
 almost all
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 done manually and needed more energy than present period. A good case in point is industrialisation in the United Kingdom rescued millions of people
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
subsequently
 remained
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the best sample for the whole world. By
following
this
 way, many European countries enriched themselves and proved the power of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
. If anyone
observe
Change the verb form
observes
show examples
 the rate of quality of life can be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evidence of the
considerably
Change the adverb
considerable
show examples
 difference between the countries who are
supported
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning
science
 and
who are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
neglected
Replace the word
neglect
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
On the other hand
, even now and in the following
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artificial intelligence and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nano technologies
Correct your spelling
nanotechnologies
show examples
 which are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the results of
science
, will be developed unimaginably and facilitate the daily tasks of the population.
That is
 to say that the termination of many occupations will aid
to save
Change preposition
in saving
show examples
 money. Take
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, The ChatGPT, an application of artificial intelligence
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be a teacher, a psychologist, or a tour guide.
Additionally
, By economising
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money, people have an opportunity to purchase anything that they need,
instead
 of
such
 expensive services. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in my final analysis, I strongly believe that scientific attainment ought to resume upgrading society’s lives.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: