IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

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In recent years,many children and adults
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 exposed to computers. Mainly
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers are using digital gadgets for more
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,it has its own
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 and demerits
according to
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 their usage.
To begin
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 with advantages, it helps the child in the part of their studies and able know the different shades of the world. That makes the children
to
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apply
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act like
a
Correct article usage
apply
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mature
teen
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teens
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. In the
real
Add a hyphen
real-time
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time
Use synonyms
 world both parents are concentrated on their own
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 consume less
time
Use synonyms
 towards their
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
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 education. So, by using laptops or desktops they make their children
to
Change the verb form
apply
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focus
in
Change preposition
on
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 their education. They
also
Linking Words
 play video games which helps them in stressbuster or relaxation. Till now we have seen how it
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 to little
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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. It has
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own cautions
also
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. In small
kids
Add a comma
kids,
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 their eyes are very sensitive part
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when they
attached
Add a missing verb
are attached
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 to the LED screen
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
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produce
Change the verb form
produces
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high
Add an article
a high
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 sense of radiation that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 little eyes
week
Correct your spelling
weak
show examples
.
In which
Change preposition
Which
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 we
are
Verb problem
have
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seeing
Wrong verb form
seen
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 in recent
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 many
lill ones
Verb problem
people
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 are affected with
eye-diseases
Correct your spelling
eye diseases
show examples
. If we provide any
type
Use synonyms
 of
phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
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 they may use
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 inappropriate
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 that
makes
Verb problem
put
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 their life to put them into
the
Correct article usage
apply
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danger.
For instance
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, a small kid is using
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
 at the age of 12.
This
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 makes others attracted to it
which
Correct word choice
and
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 they force their parents to get it to them. So as a
family
Add a comma
family,
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 they should keep some restrictions
to use
Change preposition
on using
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 any
type
Use synonyms
 of smart
devices
Fix the agreement mistake
device
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. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 strongly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that there are more drawbacks.
Their
Replace the word
There
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 should be some
type
Use synonyms
 of restrictions like spending hours on mobile or providing some
type
Use synonyms
 of authentication to a system. It is allowed for the education
purpuse
Correct your spelling
purpose
 only.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows some organization, but it lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are somewhat supported, but the coherence can be improved.
task achievement
Your essay partially responds to the task, but there are areas where the response can be more complete. The ideas are somewhat clear and relevant, but they need further development and details.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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