theie advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays
business
people
are more aware of how to make their goods more popular
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that it gets sold faster and successfully. That’s why they do their marketing, stating that their
product
is newer and most recent influencing
people
to get themselves attracted to it. I think for them it is profitable but those
customers
, sometimes become victims of the
product
they purchase after viewing the advertisement. When I say it’s good for the
business
people
is because with, their super computed and well-designed advertisement,
people
believe that their goods are recent and better quality
as
Correct word choice
than
show examples
they viewed in the media.
Then
they purchase revenue
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
owner.
For instance
, say computers, these products are usually sold when it is quite new and recent with more advanced features.
This
usually attracts
customers
when they see all those features on the screens making them eager to get one for them profiting the
business
owner.
In contrast
,
product
users or
customers
are sometimes not satisfied with the
product
quality and their
product
show. When
such
a mismatch between the
product
and their prior promotion of the
product
,
people
become victims resulting in losing trust in their
product
.
Moreover
, it gains
people
’s attention to their
product
when they state about the
product
and its recent updates.
This
too contributes remuneration of the
business
people
.
However
, we see both benefits and losses for the
customers
. In a nutshell, I would say that the form of advertisement is good for the shopkeepers
as well as
for the
customers
.
Nonetheless
, the
customers
should be responsible for their choice of an item.
Submitted by rinchennima77 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the clear development of ideas.
Lexical Resource
Improve the precision of your language and avoid grammatical mistakes.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points.
Task Achievement
Ensure to answer all parts of the question in your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Competition
  • Consumer demand
  • Novelty
  • Innovation
  • Progress
  • Differentiation
  • Attract
  • Generate
  • Interest
  • Positive aspect
  • Negative aspect
  • Emphasize
  • Balancing
  • Quality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: